Five hours before getting on the first plane to begin our journey to Chile. That’s when it finally hit me. That’s when God’s still small voice, didn’t feel so still or small at all, it felt more like my heart was being pulled out of my chest. Like if I didn’t do exactly what He asked me to do in that moment I wasn’t going to be able to breathe, it actually took my breath away. I was standing in worship and I couldn’t sing, I couldn’t do anything but think I need to get out of here…but I stayed and leaned into it instead.
I heard, “If you don’t let this go, you’ll never let this go. If you can’t give this up, you should just stay home. You’ll miss out on this amazing year I have ahead of you. But I KNOW you, because I made you. I know what you’ve walked through, and I know you can do this. Trust me in this, finally Becca. You are safe and secure in me. I have the best of intentions for you. You’re not going to be handcuffed by this anymore. Not this time. This time. It’s YOU and it’s ME. Let’s dive deep this year. You’re going to see more of Me than you ever imagined. Don’t waste this year by holding onto something that I’m already holding in my hands and isn’t for you to worry about, or hold on to, I’ve said no. Not now. And it’s about time you listen. Let go with BOTH hands. It’s time.”
And five hours before our first flight….I did what I never thought I’d be able to do. I cut some ties to the states for this year, I made much more strict boundaries for myself regarding communication with those back home, and I handed over some things I’ve been far too afraid to give over or even set aside in fear of losing them, people leaving, or missing out on something good.
It hurt. It sucked big time in the moment actually. And it still causes some sadness(and will at times I’m sure)when I think on it, or miss certain people…but a weight has been lifted. And it’s a victory I’ve been waiting on for a long long time. It’s a first…and that feels pretty dang good. It may have taken me right up until we left…but God pursued me, and He always will.
Love you all. Thank you for reading my words, letting me share my stories with you, and for supporting me prayerfully and financially. I’m over 65% funded as of right now! Over $1300 has come in within the last 4 days, and that’s so amazing! THANK YOU.
Xoxo
{{ I’m writing this on our second flight today. We flew from Atlanta to Boston and now we are on our way to Houston…then FINALLY Chile! }}
