The first couple days in Hawassa, Ethiopia started out just as well as you can expect. I experienced the excitement and wonder for how vastly different the culture is, cause well, just plain everything is different.
I unpacked my bag in a small room as one of six women, set up my sleeping pad and rolled out my sleeping bag. We were cozy to say the least. The family we were staying with was beautiful and kind. We ate amazing Ethiopian food that was totally authentic and delicious. We watched how they do things and how much more of a process it is to live. I washed my clothes by hand and prayed for the water to turn on when it had been four days since my last shower. I brushed my teeth with bottled water and made sure to take my malaria pills each night as I was always covered in mosquito bites in the morning.
We began visiting churches, preaching, and sharing stories. Unfortunately we only had a few days of this as things started taking a turn for the worse. Our first incident happened on our way back to our host home one evening when several young men surrounded our vehicle and started hitting it with bamboo sticks, yelling, and hitting the windows…it was alarming but I was still pretty calm since we were inside a vehicle, until I saw one of them pull a “gun”. Who is to say if it was real or not, but he was on my side of the vehicle and it was like this horrible slow motion moment. I was praying to God for protection and a easy way of escape as I listened to my teammate Sam pray “Jesus protect us” until we were out of the situation.
A day later we were dropped off at the nicest hotel/resort in the area to get WiFi and lunch. As we were preparing to leave and tried to call our bajaj driver to pick us up, he said he couldn’t and we were informed that all public transportation was shut down, the streets were blocked off and military were surrounding our hotel. We were asked not to leave. We made preparations to stay there(I mean as much as you can when all you have is the clothes on your back). We checked in and hunkered down for the evening. Soon we were informed that riots had broken out and things were quickly getting out of control around us-though thankfully we were in the absolute safest spot in the city. Right where we were. God was all over that. Within an hour we got a call that our host home had been broken into and that our host was moving his family out because it wasn’t safe and had to park his car at a hotel so those in uproar wouldn’t burn it. God had us in that hotel for a reason. For safety. And we prayed for our host family’s safety.
We became friends with two people who had close connections with the UN and embassy who were also staying at the hotel and they constantly updated us on the situation and provided us with advice while we were there. It quickly became clear we’d be in this situation for more than one day. One day became four days before it was safe enough for us to get a private van and travel to Addis Ababa(the capital).
All of our everything was still at the host home: passports, credit cards, gear, medication, for some of us that’s legit all we own in the world(myself included). We waited until it was hopefully safe enough to venture out with our host and a police escort, but somehow the ball got dropped with the police escort. Only two of us were able to go pack up our things and bring them back to the hotel. Tiffany and Sam went and hearing them describe the things they saw sounded a lot like streets covered in trash, charred debris of burned vehicles and animals, and encountering drunken military men. They were able to pack the whole team’s belongings up and bring them back safely.
We finally piled into the van and headed to Addis, as we were stopped several times by military/police, once our drivers even had to bribe them with money to allow us through just because we were in the vehicle.
Several hours later we arrived and the biggest blessing of the entire month surrounded us. We were invited to stay that night with a family-the husband works for the US Embassy. We walked into their home and it was like being HOME. I cried when I walked into the kitchen and saw all the things I was used to seeing before the race, not because of the things, but this place and this family felt SAFE. It just felt like home. Talking with them and their two little girls, just hanging out in a living room. They were so kind and offered us a place to sleep, take showers, they bought us pizza and we all watched a movie and talked about life. It all started to hit me how intensely I miss having a home. I miss stable relationships that last and that you can grow. I miss having the opportunity to grow a lasting relationship. And I miss living a “normal” life and serving Jesus in the day to day-not under an organization or specific culture. But just because He says to. Just because that’s what I’m called to do. I had the best night of sleep on their couch. The best I’ve had in a long time. I felt safe.
We are now “situated” in Addis. And to my surprise I am a little jumpy. One of our squad leaders came up and put their arm around me and I immediately tensed up before I realized it was them. Later, someone who works at this hotel/apartment place just walked in our room, I was the only one in there, and he just walked in and was standing beside the bed…I’m sure he was harmless but I jumped up and went out of the room trying to find one of my teammates or someone so I wasn’t alone. I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel protected.
Our host was a wonderful man. His family was beautiful. And I all but felt like we caused more trouble than it was worth for us to be there. Him and his wife have four children, one a newborn. And somehow in a horrible miscommunication where we are supposed to have a budget to pay them for these things, the ball also got dropped and we were given nothing to provide them for our time spent in their home. A few of us gave what we had in our wallets and prayed for them. They continued to be kind and help us with our things as well as finding transportation from Hawassa to Addis. This is one of those times I definitely feel as though “helping” hurt—not because of us but because of horrible communication with those who were supposed to be handling this before we ever arrived. But it was OUR faces to this unfortunate situation. It puts my faith, my Jesus, and what He has called me to in such a bad light. Our team leader had to tell him we couldn’t pay him because it wasn’t on the budget when it had absolutely nothing to do with her. Racers don’t put the budgets in place, higher ups do that. We are to trust that these things will be taken care of. Unfortunately this miscommunication left us leaving our host high and dry and left me feeling horrible for all the trouble they went through and money out of their own pockets. We ended up being a burden not a blessing. My heart aches for them. I can’t help but feel responsible.
God got us out of that situation. Those He put in our paths at the hotel and our gracious and selfless host helped us. If not for them, for all I know we would still be there.
Currently I’m working through what this means, what my next steps are, what it looks like to move forward from this and know that I was unfortunately placed in this situation. If God would have me move in a way I never expected or would have wanted…I won’t stop trusting Him now. If it hurts, if it’s hard, if it’s counter cultural to this specific “Christian” culture…it doesn’t matter. Jesus never said ‘be like other Christians’ He said be like ME. Love like ME. Serve like ME. Be counter cultural. Be different. And if your job, volunteer position, or whatever it is, is hurting more then it’s helping-know when to walk away. Know when to jump off that cliff again and know that you can trust Me to get you on the other side. When your integrity, heart, and passion for serving are on the line-take a step back. Pray. Seek my face. And I’ll give you peace in which way to go. Then go. Then jump. Take everything you’ve learned, the good, the bad, the ugly and create something beautiful out of it. You have a story to tell. Keep on telling it. I never told you this life for me would be easy, that you wouldn’t have trials and heartaches from those you trusted. I never said that I wouldn’t lead you down paths you can’t entirely wrap your mind around. That’s why you have me. Your story needs to be heard. Don’t be afraid now just because this part of your journey has a different ending than originally planned. You know my plans are greater than yours. Keep loving me and trusting me baby. I swear I’ve got you. I know you’re disappointed and that you’re afraid of disappointing those around you…but don’t be. I’ve never been more proud that you’ve taken a stand for what you believe, for this life you’re living for me. I’m wrapping my arms around you…and don’t be surprised when others do the same. I am meeting you here in love. I’m asking you to choose the best YES here. And it’s not always an easy decision. This choice you have to make….it will be met with love. You will be met with love.
