“You’re really bad at asking for help” a friend said to me during the process of moving into a new house. He’s right. It’s not in my character to seek out others even when it’s obvious that I can’t tackle something on my own. I like to take things on by myself, because it gives me complete control in the situation. It kills me to have to share a task and rely upon another person to come through for me. It’s just easier to take care of it myself.
As I reflect upon my preparation for World Race, I seem to run into this issue over and over again. I cannot personally raise all my funds through work or other efforts. I cannot personally pray for all the emotional strength needed to be away from my family and friends for a year. I cannot personally take care of all the little tasks that keep popping up in my life that add stress to my already heavy schedule. I need others to help, but more importantly I need to ask for God’s help.
Although this preparation/fundraising process can be frustrating and exhausting, it continually teaches me to rely on God instead of my own efforts. I’m in a situation that makes me incredibly uncomfortable, but I’m finding that the uncomfortable moments are the moments where God stretches and molds me the most. During this time I need to say, “Okay, God. I actually believe that you come through and provide for people, so I need you to do the same for me today. I need your help.” It’s a long learning process, but I know that this time of learning when to cry out for help is preparing me not just for the year ahead, but for the rest of my life.
