“God doesn’t call the qualified; God qualifies the called.”
After the epic teen camp was over, our ministry for the remainder of the month was teaching English and sharing the gospel throughout the DR. 3 of our teams were sent out to different cities (Santiago, Sienfuegos, and Moca) and 2 teams stayed in the mountains of Lajas. My team was one of the teams chosen to stay. Honestly, at first I was pretty bummed and disappointed. I felt like we wouldn’t be able to make as big of a difference or get to experience as much as the other teams being so secluded on the mountain.
Reflecting back on the month now, I couldn’t have been more wrong! It was exactly where my team and I needed to be. We had an intimate group of around 20 local children, which allowed us spend quality time teaching and getting to know and love each child. We spent a weekend visiting the team in Santiago for a basketball tournament my teammate Steven helped put together to expand our evangelism. (You da man Shelly!) We even relaxed and hung out at 2 different gorgeous Caribbean beaches (Cabarete and Sosua).
Still, the biggest blessing of them all was the peace and solitude we found from being on the mountain. I spent more time alone with God than I ever have in my entire life! Pretty sad I know, but also exhilarating. My new sense of surrender allowed Him to move in my heart in new, authentic ways.
I’ve struggled my whole life with comparing myself to others and God revealed a lot of insecurities I’ve been feeling lately because of it.
- Insecure my relationship with God isn’t strong enough
- Insecure about having what it takes to be a team leader
- Insecure about my ability to share the gospel
- Insecure about my past
- Insecure about blogging and my writing
- Insecure about fundraising and coming up with $16,000 by the end of this year.
- Insecure about my new “missionary wardrobe”
- Insecure about leaving my friends and boyfriend for a year
While marveling over the breathtaking mountain range, I was reminded how God created us in his image. So that we can live a life full of freedom and confidence in his truth, not a life of fear and second guessing.
Then Philippians 4:8-9 came to mind. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worth praise think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” I realized all of the doubt and insecurities I had been feeling were not coming from our loving creator, but from my own flesh and from the devil. How could I say I trust in the Lord and his plan for my life if I allow all of these thoughts to constantly run through my mind?
My encouragement for anyone reading this is to remember that you don’t have to be perfect or have it all together all the time. God will meet you where you’re at. Right now. If you become more aware of thoughts that are not true to Philippians 4:8-9 and bring them to Him, you will find great rest and peace in His arms!
