I am having a hard time.
This is our third day in Nicaragua, and I am completely heartbroken over leaving Honduras. As I stated in my previous “I’ve Fallen in Love” blog these boys can’t really know how much I love them.
I cried for about 5 days straight, while we were still in Honduras with the boys, here in Nicaragua with my team and by myself. It hurts for me to be away from them; while I was there I took on an “older sister” even a “mom” role.
As I left the boys I remembered some of the things that they told me. How much they loved me, how they wanted me to stay, none of this made it any easier for me to say goodbye.
“No te vayas Bea, quedate aqui con nosotros.” (Don’t leave Bea, stay here with us.)
“La proxima ves que ves la luna, te puedes recordar de Honduras.” (The next time you see the moon, remember Honduras.)
“No tienes que trabajar para NASA para saber.” (You don’t have to work for NASA to know”
“An habido mucho groups del World Race, pero usteds tres son especial.” (There have been many world race groups, but you three are special.)
They each are very special to me, and I long to see them again. It broke my heart into a million pieces to leave Zion’s Gate ministry.
These are only some of the boys, but these three in particular I am head over heels for.
I want to be their friend.
I want to be their mentor.
I want to be their sister.
I want to be their mom.
All these boys (and the rest not pictured) have had rough pasts, and yes some of them still mess up, but I DON’T CARE.
God has called them and has redeemed them. He has transformed them. He is changing them continually. He is growing them… And most of all He LOVES them. I see them and I know I love them, but the love that GOD has for them is INFINITLY more. He pursues them MORE, He loves them MORE, He desires them MORE.
And that blows me away.
Before Honduras, my favorite month was China… But I would give up doing any month on the race to be able to be with them more, to be able to love on them more. To be able to show them the worth, the dignity, the greater purpose they have.
I LOVE MY BABIES!
Pray for me.. That I would love Nicaragua, that my heart wouldn't hurt so much being away from my boys…
