I’ve been contemplating, should I or should I not share this? But the more I thought of it, the more I thought, yes, I should, it is something that can help people that I know understand me better and people that are going through the same to open their eyes a little more.
If you had asked me several years ago how I felt about El Salvador, I would have answered, “I hate it, I don’t want to go there.”
BUT WHY? My parents and the rest of my family that I love so dearly were all born there. I am the first born on U.S. soil from my first cousins. So why the disconnect you might ask?
As I was growing up the world around me told me I should reject my culture, reject my history, after all I am an “AMERICAN.” I must embrace the “American Dream” and “American values.”
Okay, yes, I accept. I am an American.
T.V. told me to be proud, and I was, and I still am, to be an American. But through it I also saw racism, prejudice, and hate for my family’s culture. And sometimes I still see it…
“I am not Salvadorean, I am not Salvadorean, no, no, no, no. I am AMERICAN.”
My mother and my father would ask me to visit El Salvador with them, and I would refuse. Yes, I went when I was younger but now that I had an option, I choose not to go. I thought it was poor, dirty, and ugly… I had no appreciation for it, whatsoever.
Then, I met Jesus, yes, the good ol’ J.C. But did that change my opinion of El Salvador? No, not immediately.
After high school, my father continued to push me to go to El Salvador.
“Beatriz, I really want you to go, even if it is just this one time. After this, you I won’t ask you to go anymore.”
“Okay, I will, but only for YOU.”
“Alright then, shall we go for two weeks?”
“NO WAY! The less time the better, 1 week.”
“Okay, fine. One week it is.”
My parents bought the tickets, but they had no idea what they were really getting into. I spent the week there, and…
I FELL IN LOVE.
I didn’t want to leave. All these ideas I built up in my head were wrong. The land is beautiful, the people are you beautiful, the culture is beautiful. God loves El Salvador SO MUCH. Not only El Salvador but Central American, and not only that but the world!
It opened my eyes. I was deceiving myself.
“Do we have to leave?”
“WHAT? You are the one that only wanted to be here a week.”
“One week is not enough!”
And every year after that I’ve gone, and I’ve loved it, and I’ve wanted to stay longer. I joined Destino during my time at Cal Poly Pomona and learned more about what it is to be a “Latino in Christ.”
I learned more about my culture and my people, but no, it didn’t make me any less “American”. I am just a better version of my old self, I am a Salvadorean-American. I accept both parts of my culture, THEY BOTH ARE MINE.
Why do I bring this up now? Signing up for the World Race, I wanted to go to Latin America, but I prayed and prayed and told God I wanted to go where He wanted me to be. I switched applications from July (which started in Central America) to a September Route which had NO COUNTRIES LISTED.
And now on month 9 of my World Race, here I am, in Central America, loving on some orphans.
How good is God? He brought me to where I wanted to be. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, MY PEOPLE. I am excited for Z-Squad and any other World Racers coming here.
But more than I love my people, GOD LOVES MY PEOPLE.
How beautiful it is to have a heritage from a country who’s name means “The Savior.”
