On our first official day in Guatemala City, we visited the building that will soon be a cafe for street kids to hang out and be poured into. More than visiting that building, we began the renovation of it.
As I sat on a paint bucket in this small room that would change so many lives, I saw my own heart. I saw Jesus step into this musty dark place and let the light in. I saw his tears of joy as he admired how beautiful it was and how beautiful it would become. I saw him sweep the dirt away. I saw him remove the cobwebs. I saw Him begin to chip the mold off the walls. And then the strangest thing happened— I saw him invite his saints in as he pointed to the moldy places that needed chipping away at, and they did just that.
All my life, I’d only seen this image of Jesus making beauty from my ashes (or my rotting room in this case). As I begin this journey, I’m seeing the other half of that image—the half where he invites his people to be a part of the remaking. This journey is not just me and Jesus. This is me and Jesus and the community that gets to be a part of my renovation process. The ones Jesus will say, “Hey, I’m seeing some unnecessary junk here. Chip away.”
It’s unfamiliar territory for me. I’ve never been so exposed. I’ve always tried to paint over some of these places before I present them to others. But I’m discovering that’s really hard to do when you spend every second of every day with 6 other girls who desire the same freedom for you that you desire for yourself. It’s not easy to hide in a two-bedroom house.
The other day I got a nice big dose of what it looks like for God to use these girls to chip away at what I don’t need. I was called out on my constant search for control (which is ironically what my last blog was about), and then asked some hard questions about why it is I feel that I need control.
Breakthroughs were had that day. Some junk was exposed and now it is being remade. It is a process, like any renovation. And inevitably, more holes in the wall and chips in the paint will be discovered along the way. But the point is that this mold—this stronghold –would sit stagnant and spread deeper into places of my life if it weren’t for God using a community of believers to shed some light on it.
This journey is hard. I won’t sugarcoat it. Some days I straight up don’t like it. Some days I don’t want to hear it. But it is so worth the results and I am expectant for more brokenness and more healing as I go deeper with Jesus.
Steffany Gretzinger words it beautifully when she sings, “There’s a reason for the journey, there is purpose in the learning, that not everything in life comes naturally. No, not everything in life comes easily.”
Amen, Steffany. Amen.
