This wooden floor. This community. This city. This life.
This is not where I thought I would be. I didn’t think that I would be sitting
on the entryway floor of an apartment in Budapest, Hungary for it is the
closest place I can get to be alone. I can’t go outside for its literally
freezing. The stairwell will echo. The bedroom holds sleeping children. The living
room is full of my new family. The kitchen has our host mom making cookies. So
here I sit, next to the front door. Headphones my source of sanity. I am at a
loss…
God has a way of making sure His plans override ours, no
matter how right we think we are. He has a way of allowing us to try, but
eventually He will win. It’s really not a battle, at least not to Him. It’s
more of a waiting game. So while here I am, planning my life, He is just
waiting for me to catch on, for me to see it isn’t going to be that right now.
For me to see, in the end His plans really will prevail, and they will be for
my good.
If you had asked me six months ago where I would be today,
my answer would not be here. It would not be this at all. I would have laughed
if you told me I would be in Budapest. I would have laughed even harder if you
told me I was going to be a missionary. I mean, let’s be real. I had my
apartment, and living by myself was pretty nice. I had my car, which I loved,
that was mine from mile one and that was amazing. I had my job at a law firm,
making good money as a college graduate, with a great team of coworkers. I had
my friends, my second family. They were my other half, no question. And my
girls- well they freaking rock this world.
And aside from that, had you asked me then, I also had plans
for today. Plans that did not put me in Budapest. Plans that did not include me
broke, unemployed, community 24/7, and living off fifteen articles of clothing.
But rather plans that included a beautiful white dress. Plans that included my
family and my friends all gathered. Plans that would change from this day
forward.
So its funny how God works. How He tells us nice try, but
not now. How He takes us and puts us in places we never would have imagined,
places that we aren’t sure we want to be sometimes, yet all along places that
He knows are the best place for us to be. While random tears have made their
appearance today, I know that God is here, and He is with me. I know that His
plans are bigger and better, that is wants us to have life and have it
abundantly. Now if only I can stop knowing them, and start to believe them…
