Come walk with me
Speak to my heart
What’s deep in me, only you know
Come walk with me
Come walk with me Lord
These are the only words in a song that has
been radically moving me this past week. I have listened to it countless times
and realized it isn’t about fancy words, but about the truth behind them. No
one knows us, for who we really are, other than our Father. We go through times
in life when we bond with someone, only to lose them, and often feel no one
understood us but them. We often do things in life we are proud or ashamed of,
and only share with a special someone or two we feel understand us for who we
are and won’t press judgment. Yet somehow, we feel the haughty eyes or false
joy.
We love and we are loved.
We cause pain and experience pain.
We bring joy and feel joy.
We are human.
We will never be free of emotion, be it good
or bad. We are made to feel the things of this life God created us to be a part
of. We often feel we go through things that are hurtful for no reason, or
simply a waste of time, but He knows why. We don’t know why a job fell through,
a house didn’t sell, a ring didn’t seal the deal, but we know He had us go
through it for His purpose.
I don’t have anyone on this earth who truly
‘knows’ me. Who knows what I’ve been through. What I feel. How my mind works.
Who I miss deep inside. But then again, does anyone? Does anyone know
everything about us other than ourselves and our Daddy? And if they did, would
they still be there?
This to me is the best friend I always wanted.
The lover I always dreamed of. The one who would never fail me or give up. This
is the one who would love me unconditionally forever more. This is the one I
found this year, and he is capturing me more everyday. His name is Jesus.
I despise hurt. I despise pain. I have become
a professional at pushing both aside and have failed incredibly at grief. It
has become my way of life. It has become me. Yet somehow in the last few months
I have relived a lot of my life. Memories I had long forgotten, both good and
bad, have resurfaced. And God is healing me. He is comforting me in ways I
sought from other people in the past. He is revealing himself in ways I never
knew possible, and is truly my everything.
I can’t say I understand where all people are right
now, and what they are going through, but I am here. I might not be that best
friend, or lover, or provide unconditional love, but I can be me. I can be who
He created me to be, to love and care. I might not always be patient and kind,
but I will try. I might be jealous or proud, irritable or unjust, but I will do
my best not to be. I might give up and lose faith, but I will never lose hope.
Please, come walk with me…
