Looking weird. Something most people don’t want to do. At least I don’t. Something we do everything in our power to stay away from, no matter what.
One of the hardest but most proud of myself thing I’ve ever done is stay on track with the Lord during high school. I vividly remember being in church in middle school and of course you hear everyone tell you “high school is going to be hard”, “there’s a lot of peer pressure”, “if you stay steadfast in your faith it will be so worth it”, and I remember making a promise to myself that no matter what my friends did, no matter what people said to do, I would put God first and I wouldn’t fall into the things of the world. What I didn’t fully realize is the cost it would come at.
I definitely didn’t get bullied or picked on because people didn’t really care if you were at the parties or not but I definitely didn’t get invited. Nobody told me to my face but I know I looked weird to them. I wasn’t doing what everyone else was. I wasn’t where everyone else was on Saturday night. I wasn’t saying what everyone else was saying. I was different.
I was friends with the christians, I was friends with band people, I was friends with the partiers. Something I discovered in high school is that the party community is a false idea of real community. That community will give people what everyone longs for – inclusiveness, love, and respect. They are nice people! But something that community won’t give you is a deeper relationship with the Lord. It is so understandable why so many people in high school get sucked into that community. It gives you people to talk to and people to be friends with. It gives you places to go. Real community will give you all those things too, but the goal is Jesus, and that ultimately changes the whole game.
I had to let go of wanting to be the coolest. I had to let go of caring about my reputation. I had to let go of not being with the “in” crowd. I was never the pretty popular girl, I was the funny christian girl. And let me tell ya, I will take that any day. As my 4 years in high school progressed I learned that while I did look different, it came with a layer of respect. I started to see that although I wasn’t doing the cool stuff, the people that were actually really respected the fact that I wasn’t doing those things. I would get messages here and there saying “I wish I could do that”, “I admire you so much for staying out of all that”, and in those moments I would just realize how worth it it really was. Not that I needed their approval but thinking that being a christian in high school was this really hard, daunting thing, it totally wasn’t. All it takes is willingness and a heart posture of knowing you will look a little different. And the Lord blesses that so much.
If there is anyone who is worth looking weird for, God is the guy.
Whatever you give up you gain a million times in christ. There’s nothing in this world that is worth Jesus. Not a status, not a reputation, not a title.
Everything I am doing in this stage of life looks weird in the world’s eyes. I am totally off the life track. I am not in college. My job is literally to love people. I spend my days in a village knocking on people’s doors and praying for them. How weird?! But it’s just kingdom, friends. Everywhere we go is our mission field. When I get back home I’m not going to be done being a missionary, I WILL STILL BE ON MISSION! WE. ARE. ALL. ON. MISSION. EVERY. DAY. That is literally our purpose here on earth!! Who cares how you look to other people, who cares if it’s the complete opposite of what the world is telling you to do, DO IT! Ask your neighbor that is living paycheck to paycheck out to have coffee, text your friend that is struggling a bible verse, be there for you boss that is getting a divorce. Living on mission isn’t just walking up to people and immediately telling them who Jesus is, it is just being there for people. It is so simple and so many times we let the smallest things stop us.
Coming to salvation costs nothing, but walking in the Kingdom costs everything. It takes sacrifice, hard work, and humility.
To the person in high school struggling because you look different, keep going. It is sooo worth it.
To the person who thinks you are only on mission when you’re across the world, you are on mission everywhere you go. Don’t be afraid of how you look, do what you were created to do!
To the person on the outside that thinks you’ve ran too far from God, I promise you haven’t. He has been with you this whole time. He is just waiting for you to reach out to him.
Thanks for letting me spill out my thoughts with barely any organization. I just felt like someone needed to hear this. I can’t believe I only have a month left in Guatemala. I still feel like I am dreaming.
Blog ya later,
Bay
