10 days. 1 tent. 43 new best friends.
Training Camp. Early mornings, porta potties, bug bites, bucket showers (FREEZING), dance battles, sweat. at. all. times, team builders, weird food, complete exhaustion, and kind of the worst 10 days of my life….at first.
World Race training camp is in Gainesville, GA and it is supposed to prepare us racers for pretty much anything we will face on the field. Learning how to eat new foods, get used to the unknown, and making disciples around the world. For some reason on my way to training camp I was nervous but I was thinking it was going to be the most fun 2 weeks ever. I had a picture perfect scene in my head that I would click with all 42 of my squadmates the first day and just love life…..that did not happen.
Arrival was awkward and intimidating. I was walking up to 42 strangers knowing they were the people I’ll be living with for the next year. I had to completely put myself out there right away. Long story short that was really hard for me and that night as I was trapped in my tent, sweating profusely, as it poured rain around me, I couldn’t help but ask myself what the heck I was doing. Why would I choose to do this? Did I make the wrong decision? Surely God wouldn’t want me to be this miserable. What if my team doesn’t like me? Soo many thoughts flooded my head and I truly did not think I could get through 9 more days.
As I was forgetting that God had a perfect plan for me and that He was a God of peace, I was also forgetting the enemy seeks to kill, steal, and destroy. The devil almost had me fooled that I was completely in the wrong place and put every doubt in my head that I wasn’t good enough, that my squad wouldn’t like me, and that I probably just needed to go home. But then I remembered God doesn’t work like that.
The next few days I was opening up, slowly but surely. I was breaking down my walls and sharing my story. I was getting to know my team and their stories. Every night I went to bed with a little more confidence than the night before, I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but I still felt doubt. It was the weirdest thing.
The next night during worship one of the singers stopped singing and said “I don’t know who needs to hear this but God is telling me to tell you that He is not intimidated by your doubt.” MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR. In my head I was like, me! i needed that! Crazy that God can speak to me through other people when I won’t stop doubting long enough to hear Him myself. It was true. God isn’t up in heaven saying “oh crap she is doubting me, ugh what do I do!?” NO. He knew this was going to happen before I even knew I was doing World Race. I learned that night that God cares about me more than he cares about how I feel. He is perfect whether I think he is or not and whether I feel his presence or not.
All of that to say, training camp in the moment was some of the worst, hardest moments of my life, but looking back I’d do it all over again if it means growing my relationship with God and therefore furthering His kingdom. I left training camp feeling the most accomplished I ever have. I also left with a family that I gained only because I pushed through and ultimately trusted Him.
I never knew I needed to go through such an intense 10 days to really trust that I’m where I am supposed to be, but I did. I never knew I needed to sleep in a hot tent to really realize what my reality is, but I did. I never knew I needed to complete (praise the lord) a timed 2 mile hike to realize that I’m not 100% physically ready. And I never knew I needed friends to tell me I am good enough for this journey solely because I am who He says I am, but I did.
So thank you training camp, for what I never knew I always needed and for totally pushing me out of my comfort zone and bringing so many things to light! You. have. changed. me. forever.
Here’s to more uncomfy moments and spending 9 months with my new family!
PS. we got a 4th country added to our route so now it is Guatemala, Ethiopia, Thailand, and MALAYSIA!
Blog ya later,
Bailey
