love noun: an intense feeling of deep affection.
love has been such a big and evident part of my life. my parents love me, my sisters love me, I have friends and so many family members that love me. I have been suuUuper blessed with a story that is full of love. So much love.
receiving love for me has always been pretty easy. I can accept a compliment. I can hug someone back. I can let someone pay for my meal.
giving people love has been pretty easy too. I can send sweet texts. I can buy my friends coffee when they’ve had a rough day. I can sit and listen to someone vent.
even though those things do show love, the past few weeks has showed me that I am just now learning how to receive and give love. kind of weird because I love people so hard and have so much love to give but it is so true and it is something that god is showing me day by day.
as much as I love people, I’m a hugggee people pleaser, always have been. I don’t want to step on toes. I don’t want to cause any issues. I don’t want any confrontation. I want everything to always be good at all times. And that just isn’t life (can I get an AMEN)!
with that comes me saying everything is okay and that nothing is wrong and never mentioning anything that bothers me. which is obviously not always the case.
I’m learning in the villages that loving looks like acknowledging the homeless people on the street by smiling at them, not turning the other cheek.
I’m learning in English classes that love looks like reteaching the same word 50 times for them to clearly understand, not just moving on right away.
I’m learning at the base that loving looks like patience when I have to use the bathroom but the other 5 girls are in there getting ready, not getting upset.
I’m learning with my teammates and friends that loving them means telling them when something bothers me, not bottling it all in.
I’m learning with God that loving Him means loving others well and knowing that I am his daughter before I am anything else.
I am not Bailey the student.
I am not Bailey the soccer player.
I am not Bailey the church girl.
I am Bailey the daughter.
being a daughter of God is such a church answer, something I’ve heard my whole life, but I think I am just starting to actually realize what that means.
Being a daughter means that I am loved unconditionally, that God’s grace will cover me time and time and time again.
Being a daughter means that I don’t need to worry about what’s next because God has every little move mapped out for me.
Being a daughter means that I don’t even have to carry my burdens because Jesus took care of those at the cross.
How. Flipping. Crazy. Is. that?! `
Being a daughter means that I need to intensely love everyone, no matter what.
I don’t need to please everyone, I need to please god. Pleasing him means having the hard conversations and letting Him break down my walls. And friends, that is happening! Slowly but surely. Every morning I wake up saying “how is this my life” and every night I go to bed saying “thank you lord for breaking down my walls and putting these people in my life to build them back up”
I turned 19 this past Thursday and this weekend marks the end of my THIRD week here. I still have about $6,000 left until I am fully funded!! Thank you for the constant support and prayers. I will update y’all next weekend!
Blog ya later,
Bay
