Hellloooo month 6! We have three more weeks here in Ethiopia and time is flying… kind of. Days are long, weeks are short, I just can’t believe month 6 is here already.
Every month on the race we have a women’s night where all of us girls hang out, eat, and have a teaching. The teams rotate in who does the teaching and this past month was my team, team Unity’s turn. We did it on the story of Mary and Martha.
Luke 10:38-42 “Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to Him and said ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.’
We got to talk about how Mary was the seeker and Martha was the doer. Both are good but only one of the women had the right heart posture. Martha thought her service was superior but Jesus didn’t really care about her service because she wasn’t doing it for Him, she was doing it for recognition. Martha completely misses Jesus because she is so focused on her guests.
What I have learned is that it is really easy to get caught up in the praise I get for being on the race. It is easy to want to post pictures and show everyone what I am doing. It is so fun hearing how much people love and respect what I am doing, but it becomes a problem if I am doing the race for anyone besides Jesus. And as crazy as that sounds it is easy to fall into it on the race, even if you have the purest intentions.
Here in Ethiopia I have nobody to wake up and do ministry for other than Jesus. Sounds great but it’s tough. When I go and hand cut grass for a few hours nobody is watching. When I take photos of the kids playing with us, I don’t have internet to post it. There is no praise coming in from the outside. And the reality is that I could be the best grass cutter, all the kids could know my name, and I could help in the kitchen everyday, but if I am doing it to make myself look better it means nothing.
It’s so natural to want to show everyone what I am doing and wait for the applause but the Kingdom doesn’t work like that. Matthew 6 says “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.” AKA don’t do anything just to be seen and to higher your self status.
Am I rejecting the one I am serving? Am I doing this to prove myself? Questions I have to ask myself that sometimes lead to a heart check with God, because guess what? The Lord doesn’t need proof of the beauty he makes. We have nothing to prove to him, therefore we have nothing to prove to anyone else.
Performance is always something I have struggled with. Playing soccer my whole life I always had to prove myself to coaches. I had to prove through how I played that I was worthy of making the team or worthy of starting a game. I was chasing their approval because I had to have it to play. And as good as I worked my butt off to be, I was never going to be good enough because there was always areas for improvement.
Freshman year I got to be the starting goalkeeper for the varsity team and I felt like all the work I had put in my whole life was paying off. As a little girl I always dreamed of playing high school ball. It ended up being the best season of my soccer career and I was loving it. Working hard, winning games, getting praised, repeat. We made it to the playoffs and I tore my ACL, MCL, and Meniscus. Totally out. Surgery. 9 month recovery. The whole 9 yards. The Lord slapped me in the face with humility. It was clear to him that I was so distracted by my guests, the people in the stands, and I was totally missing him. I wasn’t giving him the glory. The Lord asked me, “Why are you chasing temporary fulfillment from people that think you aren’t fully good enough when you have me, who thinks you are perfect and gives you eternal fulfillment?”
Who are we to tell God where the glory goes? It goes everywhere. Cutting grass, playing soccer, your 9-5 job, everywhere. It is the small things that are easy to forget but it is the small things that cost the most sometimes. Glory isn’t up to us.
Who am I to tell the Lord that my ministry here isn’t good enough just because nobody sees it. He has me here for a reason and even when its hard I have to give him the glory. He deserves it, not me!
Thank the Lord that we don’t choose where glory goes, because if we did we’d have zero treasures in heaven.
Here’s to giving Him glory even when we think we deserve it and here’s to not living for anyone besides Him.
Blog ya later,
Bay
