For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I actually belong to something. I always grew up trying to be friends with everyone. I didn’t always succeed, but I definitely did attempt to be everyone’s friend. In doing that, I never really found a place where I felt like I belonged. I grew up in the same place for my entire life and so I was blessed with friends from the start. I was in daycare with some of my closest friends at graduation, but I still never really fit in. I hung out with athletic people, but am horrible at pretty much every sport. I hung out with honor society members, but nearly failed math every single year of high school. I always felt out of place. I never felt as pretty as my friends, I was never as skinny as the other girls, and I definitely wasn’t getting text messages from boys who were dreaming about me at night. I didn’t even fit in with the Bible Thumpers out there because I kept telling myself that I had lost that opportunity as soon as I tasted my first sip of alcohol. I was very insecure growing up and a lot of that is my own fault, BUT (and yes there is a but… if there wasn’t this whole thing would be really depressing) for the first time in my life I know that I belong not only to something, but Someone.
It took me eighteen years to realize it, but every single thing that I struggled with for so long- every time that I felt alone and was just so extremely sad was leading up to and preparing me for this wonderful, beautiful life that I currently posses. Calling myself truly happy never really seemed like a possibility for me. I was hyper and annoyingly talkative on the outside, but on the inside I always found one problem after another that never let me escape how I was feeling. The only thing that has changed from then until now though is that I have truly and definitely given everything I have to Christ. I still struggle… I struggle like it’s my job and I get paid a bonus every Christmas to do it (that was lame and very unfunny… I apologize), but God has transformed me from the inside out and I am so thrilled about getting to praise a God who can change the person I used to be into the person I am today. I have been blessed with true friends that I love and adore so much and who make me a better person every single day (plus we graduated so there is no more team sports for me to be bad at.) I am able to grow along side of some of my friends who are still in high school who actually look up to me. I have never been able to say that about anyone before. I have the best church home I could ever ask for, a loving family, and an abundance of breakable vintage tea pots (that was kind of weird too, but I didn’t know how to end the sentence… thanks, grandma.) My life is truly an example of the amazing power of God and for the first time in my life, I know where I belong.
