Today is Sunday, my favorite day of the week. Why?
Well, first of all, I get to gather and worship my Lord with all of my brothers and sisters in Christ. I wake up early, crawl out of bed, jump in the shower and attempt to make myself look presentable for the day. (which no matter what always ends with me wearing jeans, Nikes and my favorite teal North Face Jacket.) I move through my day with a smile, feeling refreshed after hearing my Pastor preach the word of God, Breakfast with family and a relaxing afternoon ahead.
BUT today, on my favorite day of the week, I couldn’t feel any less refreshed. Not even a tad relaxed and comfortable. Even throughout church I was distracted.. thinking about events to come.
After being accepted to join The World Race I was ecstatic, thrilled and excited! 11 countries in 11 months? Me? Wow. I couldn’t believe it. But now, though I am still ecstatic, thrilled and excited.. another emotion has joined the list. Worried.
I am worried that I won’t be able to raise the amount of money necessary for me to participate in the race.
I am worried that I will miss my family so much that I will be miserable.
I am worried that I won’t fit in.
I am worried that I won’t be able to make the difference that I so desire to make in peoples lives.
I am worried that I have absolutely no idea about what I am getting myself into.
Houston, We have a problem.
Currently I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop, sipping green tea with a hint of honey and blogging (obviously)
I began reading “Kingdom Journeys” by Seth Barnes, hoping that it would help distract me from my anxious worries. Not only did it “distract” me, Kingdom Journeys was the answer to my worries, a way for God to speak to me through the writings of a fellow follower of Christ. A regular person, like myself that has already been through all of the things I have sat around worrying about all day.
He speaks about following God on a physical journey, not just a spiritual one. “God teaches through experiences” is a quote that really spoke to me. I am so comfortable with sitting here, having a bible study in my favorite coffee shop, that I keep forgetting about all the experiences I am missing out on by being “comfortable.”
To learn through Christ, I (we) need to step out of our comfort zones.
An hour ago, I was sitting here feeling lost and alone thinking about leaving in August for 11 months. Now, I feel so reassured. (and a little embarrassed about being so worried before.)
It is so easy for me to tell someone else that when they are feeling lost, they should call out to the Lord, search for him in every place, because he is always there. I more times than not, forget to take my own advice.
Isaiah 41:10 says, “‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand”
I have been so closed off to the Lord recently when it comes to MY struggles, to MY worries. I felt the pressure building until it was literally affecting my every day life, like today, my (usually) favorite day of the week.
Basically, what I am getting at is that you shouldn’t be worried. You shouldn’t be scared. BUT, if you are, like I was, Pray. Talk to God about what is weighing down on you.
I am still a little scared about leaving for an entire year, but after sitting down and finally confessing my struggles to God, I no longer feel that weight on my shoulders. I now feel reassured. God will never abandon you or me.
Through this trip, though it may only be 11 months, the lessons and experiences will be a part of us for a lifetime. To know God, we need to experience him. We can’t experience all that God has to offer by being comfortable our entire lives.
We have to let go. I have to let go.
So, I am. I am letting go off my worries. I am letting go of my fear and letting God lead me wherever he pleases.
“Perhaps, to find your true identity you need to abandon everything else.”
Have a blessed day, everyone.
May your worries and anxieties be calmed by the power of Christ.
Amen.
