It’s a funny thing how the mind works.
Each time I take a moment with God, I try to reflect on my blessings. What makes me, me and what I can thank God for.
Every single time I think about my blessings, my mom pops into my head.
It seems so natural to most people to picture their moms as a blessing in their life, but to me.. I feel as if it is so much more.
My mom, this woman who gave birth to me.. is the biggest blessing in my life.
I have never told her this.
If she’s reading this now it will honestly be the first time she has ever heard it.
Yes, I have said, “I love you” and “I appreciate you”.. But, did I really? Have I ever truly sat back and prayed deeply for my mother.. The woman who gave me life, the woman who made me who I am today? No. I haven’t. Not until now.
I have had a lot of anger for 23 years. For years, without even knowing it, I have blamed my mom for the pain in my life. For years, I have made everything about me. My hurt. My pain. My feelings. ME. I have made my mom suffer for things she could have never controlled.
I was so broken and deceived by the enemy, Satan.
This woman, this child of Christ.. my mother throughout it all, through all of my hurtful, spiteful words.. has always, always been my rock. My support system. The voice that has always made me feel beautiful. This woman was my example of God before I truly knew him.
Mom, I am so sorry.
I am so sorry for my wicked ways.
I am so sorry for your hurt.
I am so sorry for your pain.
I am so sorry for never appreciating the blessing that you are.
You fed me when I was hungry, bathed me when I was dirty, held me when I was sick and loved me even when I didn’t love myself.
You are a woman of God.
Even when I hid in the shadows, ashamed.. You waited for me. You are my light. You are my blessing. And you are appreciated.
As my relationship with Christ has grown, my love for you has followed. I felt him pressing on my heart to let this be known.. and to let you know now that it is my turn.
My turn to serve you as you have served me. To love you when you no longer love yourself.
You are so loved, Mommy.
You are a source of honor, goodness and loveliness.
You are a blessing.
God has blessed Candice, John, Me, Tory and Mikayla with you.
I have felt God saying to me that you think you have “failed” as a mom. That you have not done all that you needed to do.
Your thoughts are the enemy’s lie!
You have not failed. You are a woman of Christ and have loved each of your children unconditionally. And though we might not make it known as often as we should, we LOVE you.
I will never be able to say thank you enough for all that you have done.
I cannot put it into words.
Through YOU I was able to finally meet my Lord and Savior.
You are my biggest blessing, Mom.
I will continue to thank God every single day for the life you have given me.
Ruth 1:16-17
“For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.”
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