Control.
This is the word that I have based my whole life around ever since I could remember. I felt that I NEEDED control of my friendships, relationships, school work, my environment, my schedule and ultimately my future. This sense of control was along the lines of extreme compulsiveness, where if one thing was out of place, everything else would go downhill as well.
The blueprint of my future was my pride and joy. ALL MINE. No one would stand in my way of what I wanted to accomplish. I would graduate in the top 10% of my class through hard work (only possible by my own talents that earned, of course), I would attend Texas Tech and become a Doctor. Most of all, I would meet Mr. Right, have kids and live a wonderful, luxurious life.
Sounds great doesn’t it? Wrong.
Freshman year of college, I found a miraculous thing – a relationship with Christ. The one thing I did not understand for years was how this awesome plan was created by only me and I never once tried to involve God, the creator of the earth who knows His will for me! I asked myself one question that released my firm grasp on control: Why do I want to have a life that is not what God has planned for me?
Each event in my life soon changed in front of my eyes. I learned to be sensitive to God’s words and His plan for me. Through tons of prayer, my major is now nursing, which I absolutely adore. I rely on Him to give me strength through the hard college nights, and I have fallen so in love with God that I know I do not need to control my future.
So you ask, where does the World Race come in?
Trust.
I have given all control over to God, because I know that I cannot do it on my own. Being a Christian relies on waking up every day and taking up the cross (and for me, giving up control as well). I feel that God is calling me to this next stage of my life and into discomfort. When I have everything I have known taken away, do I trust Him? When my plans for college are interrupted, do I trust Him? When every ounce of control is given to him, COMPLETELY, do I trust him?
I prayed…
God, I want to be where YOU want me to be. Use me, take me where you need me to be. I will be obedient to you.
And here I am, taking a year off of school, and trusting in my amazing God.
Thank you for your support on this journey through prayers!
