In the Hispanic culture we have this kind of sick, yet funny, joke: to teach your child to swim, you just throw him in the water and let him figure it out. My past week at training camp was a little like that joke.
Up until a few days before training camp, I really had not felt anything but excited anticipation for the race. As training camp got closer, however, I began to feel nervous about a couple of different things. First, I was nervous about meeting seventy-something random people who I could expect to become my family for the next year of life. The reality of leaving my family and comfort began to sink in and I started to become homesick when I hadn’t even left yet. And I started experiencing separation anxiety from my kitten-child (I know…my life is so hard).
Despite my reservations, I packed up and headed out to Georgia. The travel went well, but that was pretty much the only thing that went my way; it all seemed to go downhill after that.
For the next 36 hours White, Georgia poured nonstop during 40-degree weather. (Disclaimer: I am from south Texas—40 degrees is cold! Especially if you are also wet!) Then we “lost” our luggage so I stayed in my wet clothes for close to three days and had to share a tent with one my squad mates, which meant less warmth for both of us.
Needless to say, I was miserable. I was cold, wet, dirty, tired, sore, you name it! All the while, I was having a really difficult time hearing God’s voice. I felt disconnected. I would pray for God’s strength to get me through the rough patch and I felt like I was getting nothing but white noise.
As the week went on, the sun began to shine and my squad mates and I were able to bond over the suck-y-ness of the first couple of days. We even had some spontaneous fun jumping into the lake with all our clothes on! Despite the conditions getting better, I still felt like God was silent.
After talking to an alum, I had mentioned the “sick joke” from earlier; I felt like God was calling me to step out in faith and continue to be faithful, even when I could not hear His voice. I think God was quite literally throwing me in the water so I would learn how to swim. While it was rough, I knew in my spirit that God also would not let me drown.
Remember the story where Peter walks on water with Jesus? I feel like God was taking me through a similar situation. If I kept my eyes on God, I would stay afloat. As soon as I moved my eyes from Him, then I would begin to sink. God was testing my faith in Him, even in the midst of what seemed like a storm.
It’s funny because from the beginning of this journey, I have felt like “Oceans” by Hillsong has been kind of like a theme song for my race, as cliché as that may seem. The lyrics state:
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I feel like the lyrics to that song really do sum up my training camp experience and give a preview of what is to come on this race.
I won’t lie: training camp was hard. It pushed me out of my comfort zone, challenged me to surrender completely to Christ, and made me reevaluate what my “American dream” looks like. At the same time, I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to be pushed to be the daughter God has called me to be. God’s plan for me is so much greater than anything I could ever conjure up. So I am glad that training camp broke my expectations and challenged me, even if that made me uncomfortable.
Now that I have returned, I cannot imagine not leaving with my squad and new teammates (yay for team |undefined|)! As of today, I am still short of reaching my launch financial deadline. In order to officially be cleared to fly out to Nepal on July 3rd, I need to have $7,500 in my Adventures account by June 17th!
I ask that if your still small voice is nudging you to join in on this journey as a financial or prayer partner that you act on that calling! I want to share this journey with all those that I know and love and those that I don’t know yet either! If you are interested in becoming a financial donor, you can use the orange “Support Me” button on the upper right hand corner of my blog! If you would like to become a specific prayer partner that will receive messages from me about specific prayer requests before launch and throughout my adventure, then you can email me at [email protected].
Thank you so much for investing your time and resources to God’s Kingdom work!
