As I have mentioned before, I finally began to feel nervous. There were many reasons for those nerves, but the main reason is one that doesn’t often get talked about.
I knew I would be going into an atmosphere where it was all about Jesus. I knew there would be seventy other people on my squad alone who were all about Jesus. I mean for a yearlong mission trip that’s a good thing, right?
If you’re Christian, you’re probably thinking, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”
While I am learning more and more to trust in that promise, the prospect of going to training camp with “much betting Christians that me” was nerve-racking.
Once I got to training camp, however, I began to understand and was literally told, “it’s okay to not be okay.” That little saying helped me out quite a bit, especially with all my mounting inadequacies. I would say it helped me so much that I almost forgot about my under qualification until this past week.
With an approaching financial deadline, there are still some of my squadmates and people on other squads that have not met the financial deadline to launch with their teams on July 3rd. In an effort to connect with God and ask Him to conquer this monetary number, which He is oh-so-capable of doing, some of my squadmates suggested a fast for today.
“A what?” I said to myself…”how the heck do I do that?”
This rekindled my insecurities.
Watching all of my squadmates be so excited about the upcoming fast, I began to feel useless. I wanted to help those who have not met the deadline, especially in light of the amazing provision God has had for me after joining the race so late, but I felt like I couldn’t because I didn’t even know the first thing about fasting.
Long story short, this morning I saw the picture someone had made, calling believers to fast on behalf of our brothers and sisters who had not made the deadline.
In a spur-of-the-moment thought, I was like, “I’m gonna fast with everyone—I can do this.” WRONG. First things first: I CAN’T do this. God can. And He began to show me that as I started to comb through His word looking for answers I wasn’t supposed to find.
Instead, God lead me to a website that talked about “7 Steps to Fasting” (at which point, I was like, “awesome! This will be easy if I have instructions!” …God has an interesting sense of humor, ya’ll).
I thought I would find the answers on how to fast today with my squad. Instead, I found that God had been starting to teach me how to fast, but that this was not my time. It was okay to not be okay in the way that I might not be as “spiritually experienced” as my squadmates—He will lead me on my own path toward His heart.
I do not need to compare myself with how my squadmates are in their relationship with God. I do not need to feel guilty for not being able to fast with my squad for those who have not made the deadline; it is just as valuable to set aside extra time in prayer for them. God hears me, and all of my squad for that matter, and rewards us for our faithfulness, whatever form that may take.
So all in all, I ended up with this blog, which I think is a two-for-one; not only do I get to speak truth about denying a spirit of comparison and listening to the Spirit’s voice, but I also get to petition to all my followers on behalf of those who have not met the deadline.
With that being said, I ask that you all pray for my squad—for those in fasting and for those who have not met the deadline. If you are so moved to help support them as well, I thank you for stepping out in faith and allowing the Spirit to lead you!
Please consider supporting my squad mates who are faithfully following God’s call!
Aleisa Mifflin at http://aleisamifflin.theworldrace.org
LeAnn Wright at http://leannwright.theworldrace.org
Dresdyn Johnson at http://dresdynjohnson.theworldrace.org
