What’s up friends! So recently I got back from training camp. And wow let me just go ahead and say they were some of the most difficult, emotional, eye-opening, and incredible 10 days. I was thinking I knew what to expect because i’ve heard stories about my sister’s training camp from her and her squad mates. But honestly looking back I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Before getting there I had lots of fears in the back of my mind. “Am I going to be totally jet lagged because i’m going straight from two weeks in South Africa to Georgia? Will I like my team? Am I actually going to connect with people?” You know just small things that can end up becoming overwhelming. But the Lord went above and beyond anything I could’ve imagined. Not only was I not jet lagged one bit (seriously praise Jesus that would not have been possible without Him), but I absolutely L O V E every single person on my team and squad!! Now it might seem like ten days isn’t enough time to really get to know someone or really grow in your relationship with the Lord. But SO MUCH can happen in a very short amount of time when you have a “yes” in your spirit. When you’re in a place where everyone is there because you all have a passion for the Lord, when y’all are following a calling the Lord has placed on your life, when y’all are willing to be vulnerable with each other about things you didn’t even know was on your heart…you grow.
For me, growth or at least the beginning stages of growth during training camp was eye-opening and pretty constant, the Lord ended up revealing something new to me almost everyday. Now from a perspective of wanting to grow and have my eyes opened this was awesome…but other than that…IT WAS STRAIGHT UP EXHAUSTING! I would still be trying to process something from the day before and then Jesus would say BAM here’s something else I want to show you. In the moment it was almost overwhelming but I wouldn’t change a thing. This was such a humbling time because I honestly thought I had moved past certain struggles, and I thought I was in a much different place with Jesus than I really was.
B I G G E S T P O I N T S I H A D T O P R O C E S S
- identity: I realized i’d been trying to build myself into who I wanted to become and thought people would like the most, and I no longer want to do that. I want the Lord the build me into the woman He has called me to be!
- love: I’d kept asking the Lord to fill me with His love and put people in my life that would love me well…I finally realized that I was the one not receiving His love. I thought that because I said yes to this calling on my life I was completely open to Him. But one night the Lord told me that being open to Him not only means being open to His callings and voice but also being open to receiving the love and grace that He is pouring out on me. And that’s something I had actually closed myself off to.
- turn give into make: I realized how self-seeking my prayers had become. I would only ask the Lord “hey give me this, this, and this…” but I learned I should change my prayers from give me this into make me into who you want me to be. And through the process of God making me into who He is calling me to be He will give me the things and traits that I need. It’s the same heart behind saying “Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread”. We are no longer asking for all the things we want but for the things the Lord wants for us.
- how I see God: Honestly I had no idea how I saw God. I’ve heard this question so many times because i’ve just grown up learning about who Jesus is and hearing stories about him. Problem is I never made it personal. One day we were given some time to go out and just sit quietly and ask the Lord to show us how we saw Him. The Lord ended up revealing this picture to me: it’s a little house with me inside. There are lots of windows and a door that’s wide open and I can see and hear God all around this house because of the door and windows but He never comes inside. After seeing this and drawing it I was honestly heart broken. I hadn’t even realized until this very moment that I was doubting if God wanted to come in and have a personal relationship with me. I knew in the past I had struggled with this but I thought I was past that. As I took it to the Lord, I just asked Him to speak truth into this, and He told me that it wasn’t that He didn’t want to come in…actually I was the one that build this house around myself and wasn’t inviting Him in. You see God doesn’t want us to build walls between ourself and Him, He doesn’t want us to make windows so that He can only observe what’s going on in our life and not be part of it, He doesn’t want a door where He can only come into our life when we say it’s alright and only be allowed in one or two rooms. He wants to be present through it all! Later on that day the Lord changed this picture into me in the house and what I saw was him breaking down the walls and eventually there was nothing between us!
Training camp pushed me. But it was so much better than I could’ve hoped for. I learned how to fall asleep in an airport simulation that was 10x more intense than any airport i’ve ever been to, be willing to share my food/snacks or even clothes with people, successfully hiking with my pack on (honestly ran the thing idk why though), and my absolute favorite…taking the iconic bucket shower. I was stretched but through it all God was and is so so good. Seeing a glimpse of the race has made me even more pumped to go out and share and learn more about Jesus with people! I’m so thankful for the support and love from all of you. If you have any questions about what the Lord started teaching me at training camp or want to hear more about what we did i’d love to chat with ya!!!
Lots of love
Ave
