As I am sitting here writing this blog the house is silent and people are fast asleep. But I can’t seem to rest because my heart is heavy. A type of heavy where I feel it with every ounce of my body. An ache that feels like I can literally feel my heart breaking. And all of this because of a child that God has placed on my heart. A little boy that at first I didn’t understand and I quickly saw that others didn’t understand or have any idea of how to deal with his behavior. And then I knew that God had chosen me for him.
I don’t know how to explain the relationship that we have, but its so special. Katy was never disciplined when I first met him. He would walk up to a kid and randomly slap them in the face. He would throw things on the ground and look at you because he knew exactly what he was doing. Time outs were not a thing. The workers would put him in timeout and walk away so of course he would just walk right out. He deeply wanted attention but he just didn’t know how to get it in the right way. So through loooonggggg painful time outs, forcing him to pick up his bowl that he threw which resulted in crying for twenty minutes until he found the strength to pick it up, and a lot of hopeful communication since his English is very minimal, we have found a beautiful relationship.
Katy’s touch has become softer, his words kinder, and his heart is shining the purity that was always there. When I walk in his face immediately lights up and he runs right to my arms. He isn’t afraid to put his arms out asking to be held because he has let down his little tough guy act. And I’m going to miss this little guy so very much. There are many nights that I break down just thinking about leaving the boy who has changed so much and has made my heart feel so much love towards him. I know that God’s got him. I know that He will protect him and love him while I’m gone because he is His child. The knowing of that truth does make it easier but it’s just not going to be easy, ya know? Luke and I have decided to sponsor Katy so that he can go to school and get the things that he needs. Being able to sponsor his education and knowing that he will be able to learn English feels like the most important thing to me to do. This sponsorship will not only be honoring to God but it will be a way for me to still be a positive impact in Katy’s life. I’m so thankful for Luke in supporting me in this and having such a huge heart to love on this child with me. Sponsorship is the first step but then who knows where the Lord will guide me…adoption please???
God is absolutely breaking my heart for what breaks his. Watching these kids not get the love that they deserve from the unqualified workers really hurts. The basic needs are there but honestly they aren’t there well. The kids are always dirty and definitely don’t get bathed as often as they should. They are supposed to do school everyday but most of the workers are illiterate so they cant help the kids to properly learn it well. The amount of kids is a lot for the few workers there so they don’t get the love that they deserve, especially after experiencing some of the pain that these beautiful kids have. I just ask that you would pray for all these kids. Pray that they will be able to find qualified workers since the shortage of workers is why the unqualified ones work there. Pray that the children will be loved on hard and will hopefully have loving parents in a loving home one day. Pray that there will be understanding of the children’s disabilities and patience with them. And ultimately pray that God’s presence will fill that place so that it will just be absolutely flooded in love and mercy.
