This months ministry has been great but also extremely hard for me.
One word: evangelism
I have realized as time has gone on that, so far, it hasn’t gotten any easier for me like I was hoping or expecting. Every day when we go to evangelize my stomach gets in knots and I get extremely nervous. Why? I don’t know. Once we get into conversations with people the nervousness goes away, but I always start the time nervous and then end the day absolutely exhausted.
Yesterday for our CRU meeting we were going to evangelize in one of the men’s dorm rooms. Instantly the nervous feeling was back. I was partnered with someone I didn’t know and I was about to step into a new territory.
After speaking to a set of twins, we knocked on the door to the next room. As the student opened the door, with a confused look on his face, he welcomed us into his room with open arms. He was kind and had a sense of humor, and when he saw we were there to talk about Jesus he quickly got out his bible and was ready to ask questions. We talked and answered many of his questions and listened to what he had to say as well, and as we left he said something that made my heart smile:
“Wow, Jesus visited my room tonight.”
While we were speaking to this student there were a lot of questions he asked that I didn’t realize I had the answers to. When I think about it now, I know it wasn’t because I had the right words to say, but that there were things the Lord wanted this student to hear.
It wasn’t me knowing the words to say, but the Lord speaking these words through me.
I then began to think about how evangelism is never about me, and never has been. It isn’t easy to get rid of the nervous feelings, but it doesn’t matter what I say or what I do because it doesn’t matter if I visit these people, it matters that they feel that Jesus visited them.
