So I’m not very good at admitting when I am in the wrong. I hate it and it honestly is extremely hard for me, but in month one God really showed me through a cup of coffee that I have really been in the wrong the past few years.
So let me start off by saying I have NEVER had coffee before the race. I have never liked it, never wanted to like it, but have learned to like it. The only thing I’ve really ever associated coffee with was my dad. My dad can have a cup of coffee every hour and be content, well my dad normally does have a cup of coffee almost every hour and seems content. So being able to tell my dad I was now a coffee drinker (kinda) was something I was excited to tell him, because our relationship has been interesting over the past few years and small ways we can relate are big bonuses for us these days. One day I was drinking coffee and looked down to see these coffee drips that I always give my dad a hard time about when he drinks his coffee, and that was the first time I really realized how much I longed for a stronger relationship with not only my earthly father, but my heavenly Father as well.
So before we get into this story I should really tell you a little about my dad. My dads name is Steve, he has had a mustache and no hair on the top of his head since the day I met him (aka birth). He likes his coffee black, and his steaks medium rare. He doesn’t recognize when his tone changes or that his attitude can be seen all over his face. He laughs at his own jokes and finds Facebook memes hilarious. My dad is a retired police officer turned custodian, and has always had the biggest giving heart I’ve ever seen, and sometimes he gives so much to others that he’s to tired to give anymore when he gets home.
So for the past 10ish years our relationship has really struggled when it comes to understanding each other. For a while it was because one of us was on Facebook too much, sometimes it was because I would yell through the house, and sometimes it was because our tone of voice would change; and lets just say I really wasn’t the nicest person all the time nor was I being very good at honoring thy father. It wasn’t until training camp for us to have a message about forgiveness that I really understood why I never got along with my dad. It wasn’t because he ever did anything wrong, because a lot of the time he was really trying to do things right, but it was a lot of me being mad at him for some things that really were never his fault. So addressing that I was in the wrong was really hard; it was also really hard because I didn’t want to do it but God said it was time.
After training camp I went home and while sitting in the middle of a parking lot I apologized to my dad. It was short and to the point but it made a huge change in us being able to communicate with each other, and after that I could see that there was a change in not only how I communicate with my earthly father, but also my heavenly father.
I didn’t think about it before but I really related my relationship with my heavenly father sometimes with how my relationship was going with my earthly father because he is suppose to be the earthly representation of our heavenly Father right? The head of the house, the decision maker, the leader. So if my relationship with my earthly father was struggling I wasn’t spending the time to meet with my heavenly father either. I, to this day, still don’t know when that started or why, but it did and I’m having to learn 1)how to treat both relationships differently 2) and to love both of my fathers differently.
See here’s the thing that I have begun to realize lately, both my heavenly father and my earthly father are amazing, but I have neglected to get to know either one of them to the fullest.
What is keeping you from getting to know the heavenly father in a more intimate way? Or maybe its your earthly father, mother, sister, or brother; whoever it is we have to realize that in order for us to know these people on a true intimate level (including our heavenly Father) we have to pursue a relationship with them.
So while on the race I’ve begun to pursue a relationship with both of my fathers in ways that are a little different then if I were at home: If I am available to drink my coffee at 2 I will because I know in America my dad is waking up to have his first cup of coffee at that time, I’ve watched the original six Star Wars so that when I get back we can watch the rest of them, I face time him almost every Monday, and I have begun to look at my dad with more grace and love then I ever have before. For my heavenly Father I have begun to find different ways to communicate with him better: Praying in different ways, painting to create something for him, and really learning how to study his word fully.
I’m learning to be okay with admitting when I am wrong. It is actually freeing at times and overall has begun to strengthen a lot of my relationships with people. So here’s to having fathers that love me when I’m stubborn, love me when I’m sad, and are always my biggest fans. I’m starting to be your biggest fan too.
Love you Dad.
