“So are my plans higher than yours.” -God
At the middle of month six I looked at one of my teammates and said, “Well we are half way through and I think I’m finally realizing that I need to let go of my expectations I had for this year.”
I don’t think I really could pinpoint what exactly my expectations were, but I kinda based what I thought this year would look like off of the blogs and vlogs I read and watched and thought I would be doing all this really “awesome” stuff out here on the field, and now half way through I had some sort of feeling of disappointment thinking why does my race not look as cool as that.
I really thought I would be changing more lives, seeing miracles, doing things outside of my comfort zone in the bush of Africa, but I was in a city every month in Africa. Really a lot of my race looks like long days of only a few hours of ministry, or some months of having so much ministry we are exhausted at the end. A lot of waiting, a lot of long travel days, and for me personally A LOT of stomach aches.
I’ve read blogs that people say you can’t go into the race with expectations because it is never what you thought it would be, but I still did it. I had expectations of what I thought we would be doing and I also had expectations of what I thought the Lord was going to do to me and through me.
This morning I had the opportunity to talk about this subject with my squad during worship.
I talked about how the Lord made a promise with Abram when Abram was 75. It was about his wife Sarai giving birth even though for many years they were not able to have children. A decade later they still didn’t have a child but the Lord continued to say he would fulfill the promise, and as we all know he did. The thing I wanted to talk about with my squad was what if God made a promise to you about the race and he either hasn’t fulfilled it yet, or the seed has been planted but you may not get to see they fruit. If you don’t see his promise yet, or if you don’t see his promise ever on the race are you still going to be able to walk away from this time and say, “but he is still good.”
I came into this race with expectations that God hasn’t met, and may never meet. However, there are other areas of the race where he has far exceeded my expectations. Therefore, I want to come away from this time on the field believing that he hasn’t met all of my expectations because he has plans to far exceed them.
