So this blog thing is new to me. I never saw myself as a “blogger” but here I am.
I want to start this blog out explaining how I got to this place in life. It has been a long journey (I promise to be as concise as possible!), so you might want brew a cup of coffee or get some popcorn before settling in. Hopefully it's worth your time!
It was my Junior year of high school I was sitting prom night out that year due to my own personal choices. I was hanging out at my dad's and we ended up watching a documentary on one man’s journey through India. This man was at an orphanage and I remember him talking about the impact that the kids there had on his life. Nothing out of the ordinary for anyone who has spent time with kids so needy for love. I have had multiple opportunities to do so and I know the feeling of being changed by a child’s love. I quickly pulled out my Razor phone and typed in it, “I wish I didn’t even have to go to college and I could go straight to working with orphans.” It was such a passing thought and I never could have imagined the dream that formed from it during the years to come. Before going to bed that night I was reading a book and the last chapter was about listening to God if you feel like he has placed a dream on your heart. As I closed the book I thought the night’s events were ironic but figured nothing more than a coincidence.
Looking back now, that night was WAY more than a coincidence. More like a direct word from God placed right smack dab in the middle of my heart. It is crazy for me to look back at that one night, when I should have been at prom, and see how God has formed it.
I continued to go on mission trips and spend time serving with my youth group over until I graduated. There were lots of times when God would remind me of my dream but I plugged my ears and said, “La, la, la, I can’t hear you” as a young kid does to their parents. I kept tinking, "Surely this dream isn’t going to actually work. Either way, God wouldn’t pick ME for it. I’ve got too many issues. I wouldn’t be good enough at it."
But He would keep whispering to me that I was, in fact, made for this purpose.
I went to college and, needless to say, have had the best (and hardest) four years of my life. I changed my major, changed my hair, changed roommates, changed dorms, changed friends, and changed jobs. I veered off track more times than I can count and thought I had life figured out more times than I could count. God ended up ripping everything I thought I knew about him and life. He took me all the way to the bottom to build me up to see who I am in Him alone. All along reminding me of His dream for my life.
This past summer rolled around and I realized though I didn’t know what it would look like, it was time to start exploring how to make this dream a reality.
I started googling orphanages to serve at for a few months in the Africa region (I've always been drawn to Africa for some reason). I found lots of options and started the email process. More often than not, I would never hear back from the organizations I inquired about. But there were a few I heard back from that I thought to be the perfect thing. I even applied to volunteer at a few. Then I had the bright idea that I should pray for closed doors.
Side note: If you pray for closed doors, get ready for them to actually close.
…and then the doors started slamming.
I thought…God, if this is what you want me to do then why are these doors closing?
I started getting impatient and frustrated.
Then there was the repeated whisper in my ear...Autumn, just wait. MY plan is better and bigger than anything you could ever imagine.
So I decided to just trust and keep looking.
This was when the World Race was recommended to me by the missions department at my school.
I've heard of the World Race before but thought there is no way because it’s so expensive…
I have student loans.
I have bills.
I have responsibility.
It’s for ELEVEN months.
But then I realized I had been forgetting a huge notion that my youth minister instilled in me…
If God calls, He will ALWAYS provide.
So I decided to give it another look. I started reading blogs. I prayed for closed doors though I was worried they would close again. But everything about this started feeling right. And the door stayed open. WIDE open, actually. I was overwhelmed with peace and clarity. I started to get really excited but also really scared because of how right this felt.
So I applied.
I had my phone interview.
I waited and prayed and read blogs and realized that even though this felt so right, I may not get in. And if I didn’t, then I would keep pressing on and trusting.
On the day I was suppose to hear if I got in or not, I anxiously never let my phone out of my hands.
Then the phone rang.
Nervously I answered to hear the words, “You have been accepted to do the World Race.”
I think I was in shock because I don’t really remember the rest of the phone call.
I took a week to pray about it but continually felt that it was right.
So I accepted the offer back and cried and celebrated and called my friends and family.
God’s whisper was right. This is WAY bigger and WAY better than I could ever imagine.
God has worked so blatantly in my life to get me to this point. It’s an honor to have the privilege to go on this crazy journey. I know God will change my life in the process. Some days I am a really nervous. Some days (okay, just one) I cry in the library with my friends. Most days I am at peace knowing this is right. God’s plan is so good. He knows just what His children need. He closes doors just to open one that we never planned. Even on days that I struggle to feel Him, I know God is pursing me. He is pursuing you too. I am overjoyed to go on this journey with Him (and you)!
As I finish typing this I am oddly reminded of the lyrics to an old song I use to listen to as a kid. “It may not be the way I would have chosen when you lead me through a world that's not my home. But You never said it would be easy. You only said I'd never go alone.”
I rest easy knowing I am not going alone. We are never alone in this journey of life.
Grace and Peace.
