A lot of people have been asking me if I have doubts about going on the World Race.
“11 months, 11 countries in a backpack?! No way!”
“You’re going to leave your boyfriend behind for 11 months?!”
“Are you sure you can do this?”
These are the questions I get all of the time. I always smile, awkwardly laugh and say, yes I can do this, yes Nick is staying behind, but we will still stay together and yes I am sure I can do this, but I have a confession. I can’t do this. I have tons of doubts. I dont know that I can be away from home that long…again. I can’t always be super excited about this. I hate the fact that I am leaving my boyfriend for 11 months. I constantly wrestle with myself because I know that I am weak. Here is one of the amazing things about being in a relationship with the maker of the Universe, I can’t but God can. With God’s help he enables me to do more than I even realize. If I allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me than God can do immeasurably more than I could ever imagine.
Y’all I’m just hype thinking about it because God is that cool. All the fears and doubts that I make for myself, or have allowed the enemy to sow into my mind, God wipes all of those away. He has been constantly encouraging me with this verse, “ Each time he said, ‘my grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now i am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (2nd Corinthians 12:9)
This race isn’t about me at all. I hate when people tell me how wonderful it is that I am sacrificing my time because y’all It’s about Christ. I’m just thankful God has called me and is allowing me to do his work.
A little about me and why this is such a hard thing for me to understand. I am a people pleaser and I believe that I always have to be okay. I have always been that way. I don’t like for people to think I don’t have my life together. News flash, I am not perfect. Not even close. I am an ill equipped sinner who has a broken past but through a loving relationship with Christ Jesus I have been restored. I have had to learn a lot about what it means to simply be human. I’ve had to learn it’s okay for me to have doubts. It is okay for me to be weak, because in my weaknesses, God shines. Shoot, I’d rather be weak if it means my God gets more glory.
Huge thank you to everyone who has been supporting me thus far through prayers, words of encouragement and financially. I still have a long way to go. Please prayerfully consider donating to my trip! Thanks y’all.
