Why The Heck Am I Still Here

I have officially been on the World Race for six months now. I have loved my time on this journey, but to be honest, I am really tired. When launching back in August, we were told numerous times that somewhere between months four and six we may hit a sort of wall and feel ready to be done with all of this. I hadn’t really felt this way until we arrived in Armenia a few weeks ago. We were told we would only be in Yerevan, Armenia for 15 days, so I went in with the mindset that I didn’t need to get too settled because I would blink and it would be time to move again. This was wrong of me. We spent the first few days walking around the city and trying to meet people, but we quickly discovered that the language barrier was much more difficult there. Who would have thought, after all the places we have been (the Middle East???), that we would just now be having a harder time with being able to speak with someone? I was frustrated. I felt like I was serving no purpose and that my presence in Armenia was pointless, as well as struggling with feeling very forgotten by people back home. I wasn’t in the best place at the time.

After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands. And they were shouting with a great roar, “Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne and from the Lamb!”

 

Revelation 7:9-10 NLT

 

After the service, my team met a pastor from New Jersey named Craig, who had just moved to Armenia with his wife Joyce a few months earlier. He invited us over to their house for dinner later in the week, so that coming Thursday we made our way across town to their apartment. We were all a little tired, but we were just so thankful we had met someone who could give us some insight on Armenia and the best ways to minister to the community. Joyce had a beautiful spread waiting for us and had also invited other missionaries over who had been living in Armenia for some time. 

 

After dinner, we were starting to feel like it was time to leave until Yohan and Chloe, a couple from South Africa, told us that earlier that day while they were praying, they felt the Lord telling them that they were to pour into some people traveling around later that night. They told us that two hours later they received the invite from Craig to have dinner with a group of girls who are traveling around the world for the next few months. They knew right then it was us they were to speak with. The group began praying over us, speaking truth and words of encouragement as we, at first stunned, all began crying and soaking in all that they had to say. It got so incredibly hot in that room as the Holy Spirit moved. 

 

Craig said my name at one point and began speaking over me that I am a contender, a woman who will fight for the coming generations. At this point nothing should surprise me anymore, but I sat there frozen as this was not the first time on this journey that a complete stranger has said this to me. As time has gone on I have begun understanding more of what God is wanting from me in that regard, so to have it said to me once again was just more confirmation of what He has for me.

 

Hours later we were leaving Craig and Joyce’s home refreshed and refilled. We have spent the past six months pouring and pouring into others, but we had no idea how much we needed to be poured into. God is good and knows exactly what His children need and when they need it. If the only thing God had for us in Armenia was that night with Craig, Joyce, Chloe and Yohan, then it was worth it. Nothing, and I mean nothing, has looked the way I think it should on this journey, but His plans are way better than mine. Every time. 

 

 

So, I wish I had something really awesome to tell you about how we made an impact in Yerevan and how it’s different because we were there. It’s not, but we left not the same people we were when we arrived. The obedience that Chloe, Yohan, Craig and Joyce walked in changed us, which is something we will carry into the months and years to come that will undoubtedly be life changing to others that we will touch. 

 

My time in Yerevan reminded me that church is not a building that people gather in every Sunday- church is the body of believers who live to glorify Jesus and pour into others and freely give out the love of Christ. This is the church I want to be a part of all the days of my life.