I had a few people reach out and tell me the vlog wasn’t working so I just wanted to post what I had to say minus the video! Thank you for your patience and prayers, they are felt every moment!
James 4:7-10 continues to be the scripture for this season I’m walking through. Personal growth with our Father was something spoken over this trip to me a few times and something Holy Spirit is continuing to guide me in. In the midst of all circumstances I’m truly grateful for the peace and joy He brings through it all. I found myself in a place of heaviness one morning after the enemy just filled my mind with lies and I let my guard down for a second and entertained those lies. The Lord brought me to a lake where the water was still. Just like the first time He began to speak to my heart and show me His love. As I sat there I began to weep as He showed me His heart for the nations that don’t know Him and in that He revealed to me my purpose in that plan. I asked and He answered. “Share my heart” is what He spoke and the tears continued to come as He told me next to praise my name out loud. Something I have never done but in that moment next to the calmness of the lake I sang out my hearts cry to my Father in heaven…in those words God revealed to me my own heart and the areas I still needed to heal in. One was the feeling of not being good enough. The second was to only see myself as He sees me. Due to past pains or mistakes in my baseball days the words of “you can do more, are you even giving it your all?” And the words of “you have potential.” Still sat in my heart. Overtime I reached a point of just not caring because it was never enough and I was always trying to please whoever it was in authority over me. But. It just was never enough. So as I sang out and began to cry even more the grace which is always sufficient came over me and He began to tell me what He always does in that moment. “Rest in my love”. You see, God’s words to me are always so simple and so still like the water I sat next to and it’s never a voice of Condemnation or a voice of anger, but a voice of complete love and holiness that makes me feel like a baby in His arms. This walk with Jesus continues to blow my mind and open my eyes more and more to the truth of this world. Let us never forget that we are saved by grace and there is grace upon grace for those that are saved as well. We are now no longer under the wrath of God but under His loving hand of correction because each moment we are becoming more and more like Him until that day! China is just the first country of potentially 12 that He is bringing me to and as I continue to allow Holy Spirit to minister to my own heart I pray that everyone back home will come alongside our brothers and sisters in Christ here already and for those that don’t know His love already! God is so good and I’m truly blessed to only grow that much more in His love for me!
