As we traveled to our first day of ministry in Moldova today, one of my friends on the squad asked me if I felt more messed up now than I did at the beginning of the Race. My quick response was “definitely”. Today was the first day of our final month. That is so hard for me to believe. It’s been the most life-changing, life-giving, and hardest year of my life all at the same time. My heart, mind, and spirit feel like an F-5 tornado just rolled through town. Everything that was standing now is not, and you can find pieces of me spread out over miles. My theology is down. My worldview is down. The view of I had of myself is down. Praise God. These things needed to happen.
This blog is not going to turn into personal confession time, but I have seen more sinful junk in my life uncovered now than ever before. I remember times in my life when I had trouble naming areas in which I was sinful. How ridiculous is that? Now, it’s just the opposite. I was journaling tonight and writing down some of the areas where I continually fall short and need to cry out to the Lord in repentance. The list seems overwhelming…not necessarily because of length but because of magnitude. These are major areas of depravity!
This year has been such a blessing. I am a disciple of Christ. I am his follower. I am a son of the Most High King, and I have been chosen to bring Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. I am also in need of some serious work!! I’m so blessed that he’s called me to a year in which I can not only wholeheartedly serve him all around the world, but I can also let him use the situations he’s put me in and the people he’s placed around me in community to bring this stuff to the light.
During our final week in Romania, I was with Team Umoja helping them build a h
ouse. One of my tasks was to take a chisel and hammer and chip off the old concrete that was still stuck to some bricks so they could be reused. The orphanage didn’t have the money to pay for new bricks so they had to work with the old ones. It took me the majority of the workday to chisel 84 bricks that could be reused, but I loved it. The challenge of chiseling to return the brick to its original creation minus the concrete that made it useless without breaking it in the process was a lot of fun. I broke a few along the way, but overall, it was a success. It wasn’t until later that I realized the symbolism behind what I was doing.
ouse. One of my tasks was to take a chisel and hammer and chip off the old concrete that was still stuck to some bricks so they could be reused. The orphanage didn’t have the money to pay for new bricks so they had to work with the old ones. It took me the majority of the workday to chisel 84 bricks that could be reused, but I loved it. The challenge of chiseling to return the brick to its original creation minus the concrete that made it useless without breaking it in the process was a lot of fun. I broke a few along the way, but overall, it was a success. It wasn’t until later that I realized the symbolism behind what I was doing.
When I left on the Race I had high expectations of what the Lord was going to do this year. I expected to be changed and perfected. That’s almost laughable for me to think about now. Again…F-5 tornado. What went wrong? Nothing! My expectations were wrong. This race has been one big step in the RIGHT direction as one of his disciples. I am the brick. He has been showing me more and more of the cement that has been on 
me for years. Now, he’s getting rid of it, and I’m so thankful. He’s returning me to the form I was created to be so I can get to work. Imagine a brick with weird clumps of cement still all over the perimeter of it trying to be used build a wall. Completely worthless. It’s not only messed up, but it’s messing up the whole structure. If the Lord is going to use me (or anyone) for serious Kingdom work in this world, then this process is one to be celebrated and not avoided. This is something that’s going to continue long after the Race for me. I’m just excited. I’m excited that it’s not the Lord’s desire to leave work unfinished. We follow a God who redeems, who refines, and who removes. We also follow a God who is looking to do these things in the people who want to do some big things for the Kingdom of God in their time on earth. That is my desire, and I’m honored that he’s making me more like his Son and preparing me for the highest calling a person can have in their life…a Kingdom builder.
me for years. Now, he’s getting rid of it, and I’m so thankful. He’s returning me to the form I was created to be so I can get to work. Imagine a brick with weird clumps of cement still all over the perimeter of it trying to be used build a wall. Completely worthless. It’s not only messed up, but it’s messing up the whole structure. If the Lord is going to use me (or anyone) for serious Kingdom work in this world, then this process is one to be celebrated and not avoided. This is something that’s going to continue long after the Race for me. I’m just excited. I’m excited that it’s not the Lord’s desire to leave work unfinished. We follow a God who redeems, who refines, and who removes. We also follow a God who is looking to do these things in the people who want to do some big things for the Kingdom of God in their time on earth. That is my desire, and I’m honored that he’s making me more like his Son and preparing me for the highest calling a person can have in their life…a Kingdom builder.Ephesians 2:19-22 – “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him, the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.”
