What a week. I didn’t even know I needed this. I came into PSL expecting to just reconnect with my squad with all joy and excitement. In turn, not paying attention to the sessions where they just repeat the same things I’ve heard for the last year. “Home will be a tough adjustment.”
“You will miss your squad.”
“Finding community at home is harder than the race.”
Pretty general statements. But in actuality, the Lord strategically put me here to hear what our speakers had to say. On the first night, one of the women said, “I think this week includes a time of forgiveness for someone else in this room.” I thought, yeah whatever. Within minutes, the Lord convicted me of some unfair judgments I had placed on one of my squad mates that I wasn’t even aware I had done that. The Lord has revealed some fear in my life that I have been walking in. I knew something was off about my last week when I moved to Gainesville and started CGA, but I didn’t know what. I have standing in fear. Fear of the uncertainty of the future. Fear of rejection by my housemates and classmates. Fear of the grieving that will come when I finally say goodbye to my squad.
Throwback to a classic
“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
– Joshua 1:9
Why do we live in fear? Why do I live in fear? Do I not believe what God has promised me? Do I not believe what He has just said in that verse? Will He always be with me, and because of that, I never have to fear or be discouraged? Do I not think the Lord to be credible?
That seems to be the problem the Hebrew people had while journeying for 40 years in the desert. They were so close to the land that God had promised them, but they couldn’t seem to remember what He had just done. They forgot. They didn’t value the works of the Lord.
I feel as though I haven’t valued the works of the Lord in my life and that I’ve witnessed in someone else’s life. The Lord has called me to the word remembrance. I love the words of Psalm 77. It is titled “Confidence in a Time of Crisis.” The psalmist describes his pain as he cried out to God. He then begins to speak of remembrance of all God has done and His power and authority.
We should desire to remember God’s faithfulness. If we lose sight of His faithfulness, we lose the trust and confidence we have in the only one who is worthy of them.
Just some questions to ponder and seek out with the Lord in a similar situation:
– Where is my fear/anxiety coming from?
– Lord, do I know and remember Your works in scripture, and in my life?
– Do I credit You these things, or am I letting someone else take the credit?
– Do I believe what the Word says about Your character?
– Do I live as though I believe it? Do my actions reflect that belief?
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