Crazy to think month 3 is already coming to a close! We find ourselves wrapping up the month and preparing for AFRICA!
I wanted to be as transparent as possible with you all as I continue to learn and grow. So this month we were working with orphans. From toddlers to the oldest being 13. We would show up at 8 and work until 6 that evening with little break throughout the day. From hikes, to coloring, story telling, pushing kids on the swing and playing outside- it was a long day. It is really humbling when you realize the idea of doing something vs. the reality of doing it are pretty different.
I found myself excited to work with these kids- and learned quickly that my strength and patience is pretty bad at times….
Now this wasn’t all the time, I loved working with the kids, but again I really want to tell you all about the not so glamourous side of things and how Jesus’ love covers it. If we are honest this is a small percentage of what you usually hear going on when on a mission trip, but here I am being vulnerable 🙂
Ill be honest, the days were long, the kids were unruly, the rewarding aspect dwindled at times, I wanted to punch a kid, and all the while I had to ask myself the golden question “what is God teaching me…”. Well sure enough He is always teaching us and I realized how in my weakness, struggles, selfishness, impatience, Jesus’ love is perfect and never runs out. AMEN?!
When I wanted to throw a kid across the room or not pick up a baby because they just threw up or snotted all over themselves, I literally had to ask myself…..W.W.J.D…..dangit….I would realize the answer and SOMETIMES I would act upon it, the other times I would look for something else to do or ignore the kid who would not stop throwing toys at my head….
I know this may come as a shock, but I am not perfect and there is a very real aspect I am not afraid to admit of this thing called “flesh” that is dying in me daily.
with that….
I am extremely grateful that Jesus does not ignore us or look for something better to do. His love is made perfect in my weakness!
2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
I have a blessing of a wife who spoke this verse over me and our team several times through the month. I am extremely glad for this because of the reminder it was in times I would see myself slipping.
Reminding myself “its ok I am not perfect, that is Jesus’ position not mine. I need to ask for His love when I know I am slipping. Ask to see these situations through His eyes.”
Again- I know this may not be the glamorous experience some of you may be expecting to hear from a missionary, but it is the reality of someone who is learning daily what it looks like to follow and be changed by Jesus.
I told my team throughout the month that it is one thing to feel like youre struggling in areas and not really know why. I followed up with how encouraging it is when the Lord reveals to you that struggle and you can pinpoint it and work on it through the grace and relationship with Jesus the Gospel provides!
I recognize my struggle and am working through it- I again want to be as transparent as possible with you all. I could easily put up pictures of me smiling holding a baby and in ways make you think I am just killing it for the Kingdom. But I am not afraid to show you all my weakness because THAT IS WHERE I CAN BRING GOD GLORY IN SAYING HIS LOVE IS SEEN ALL THE MORE IN MY WEAKNESS.
I hope this all reaches you well and you don’t judge me too hard 🙂
Next time you all hear from us we will be in Africa!!!! Please pray for our hearts to be flexible where ever we end up and we are ready to further the Kingdom! Pray that we recognize the Lord is going before us and that we are intentional in meeting Him there!
To God be the glory,
Austin
