Some of you know this about me, but I am a huge nerd when it comes to storms and lightning. One of my favorite things is when I notice the dark, ominous, CUMULONIMBUS (shout out to Ms. Wolf in 3rd grade for teaching me…ANYWAYS!) clouds forming in the sky and hear the distant rumble of thunder coming my way. Seriously, I turn into a child. Ill run outside and just stand- feel the wind pick up, notice the drop in temperature, the flashes of lightning opening up the sky- yeah…its about to storm!
I can not explain to you all how much of a blessing this month in Peru has been so far. We have a mattress, roof, warm blankets, awesome hosts, and we are tucked away in a tiny mountain town surrounded by beautiful mountains. Seriously- such a blessing!
But I find myself struggling to find that intimacy with the Creator- the Creator of all of this beauty around me. Early in the month I found myself walking in a field on a day off and simply desiring to be with the Father. It was difficult- I do realize this is pre-repentance (read blog “coming home” 🙂 so that was there…but something else seemed to be there.
It hit me the most when I was on a walk with a group of the orphans up the mountain. The majority of the children do not have any special needs, but there are two that do- Zoe and Carlos. Carlos needs help walking, especially up this mountainous terrain we found ourselves on. I was holding tightly to Carlos’ hand as he stumbled up the trail. He would often trip on a rock, stop, look around, get distracted and then move on when he wanted…
I had a perfect glimpse of myself and the Father. How often am I the one going up this “mountain” (struggle, path of life, WHATEVER…) stumbling, getting distracted, not wanting to move and do my own thing. Then I recognize the Lords role. Holding my hand the entire way, helping me when I fall, being patient as I “do my own thing”, and never leaving my side. I found myself desiring so much to have this moving revelation, but I didnt “feel” it because I wasnt the one “struggling” up the mountain…(I am still thankful of how this relationship between Father and son was revealed and how I was able to REMEMBER all the Lord has done for me over the years!)
It took time, prayer, worship and this desire I WILL NOT LET GO OF to simply BE with my Father. Also a well timed question of “how can I pray for you” from our squad mentor Stacy, aided me to talk it out and process that I tend to struggle MORE when I am not “struggling”, or being challenged. When everything is WONDERFUL and a blessing I tend to lose sight and gratitude!
BUT HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD! Praise God simply for not leaving me alone with this feeling. Praise Him for revealing this through His Spirit working in my life! Praise Him for revealing this tendency through His Word! Never would have a thought I would be so excited to read through Deuteronomy, but nevertheless-here I am!
In my time in the Word I have been going through the Old Testament and just got to Deuteronomy and God is faithful! Just as I am realizing this struggle of mine I come across, Deuteronomy 6 which continues in Moses encouraging the Israelites that when they enter the Promise Land, do not forget what the Lord has done! (6:12)
He then goes on to tell the Israelites to REMEMBER EVERYTHING the Lord has done! Through the wilderness and struggles in life I find myself seeking the Lord so much more and wholeheartedly. I know this can be opposite in others lives.
I realize that I learn more through challenges- physically and Spiritually, and that I often lose sight outside of the “storm”. I see that sincerity in worship is at times forfeited. I realize that there is a wholeheartedness in my pursuit of Spirit and time in the Word that seems fade away when everything is going good.
BUT PRAISE GOD FOR HE DOES NOT STOP HIS PURSUIT OF US! He loves us so much and is always teaching us!
Deuteronomy 8:12-18 “Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. *He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did all of this so you would never say to yourself, “I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy. *Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.”
Time and time again I read through the Exodus from Egypt how we serve a God who LEADS us and goes BEFORE and AHEAD of us. These storms are no surprise to Him, and neither are these times when we tend to forget about how good God is! He is always calling us home!
Praise God! Give Him all the thanks and glory- in and out of the storm! He is worthy and He is so good! REMEMBER how good He is! This is all for His glory…
As you read this- do not limit God to simply “thats nice Austin is in Peru and learning this about himself” RATHER- search your hearts as well and ask for the Spirit to reveal in your life what areas He may be wanting to teach you or guide you into. Or simply take time to PRAISE GOD, because we know HE IS WORTH IT! (didnt intend to add this last part, but it was placed on my heart!) PRAISE GOD!
Austin
