I spent my summer this year out in Colorado. If you have never been out to that place in the beginning of summer I highly recommend it. The weather is perfect. Almost everyday is that type of day where the air is just thin enough, the sun just bright enough, and the wind just gentle enough to put you in a good mood as you walk outside. Gorgeous. Everything you see is in bloom, and the cottonwoods let go of their seeds to gently ride the wind like snow.
I felt like that was my life…drifting.
I went to Colorado to get my head on straight. You see, the World Race ruins you for some things. One you’ve tasted the abundant life that Christ offers, you hunger for it…you search desperately for it. A Holy Discontentment. I thought Colorado would be a great place to look, or at least to hear from Him…and it was.
I spent many walks out in the mountains with the Lord just pouring out my heart and trying to get some answers to the crazy in my life. Other days I would sit in fields and just dream. Some days I would be to down to walk out my door. In all of it, God just seemed to listen…never speaking.
Then suddenly, I started seeing “Tennessee” literally everywhere. In songs, on license plates, in stores, on shirts…EVERYWHERE! So…I started to pray about it. But I knew already what was happening. God was inviting me to take a HUGE jump, and move to Nashville to pursue a singer/songwriter career. I knew I wanted to write songs that mattered, and I knew that the place to do that was Nashville…I just needed a little push.
So…I jumped.
I took yet another risk, and moved to Tennessee. I thought I was crazy…more crazy was coming.
When I got to Nashville, I was extremely excited. So many doors had opened up, and I knew I was in the right spot. Then…I hit a wall. Not just hit a wall, but I took my 70 miles per hour of excitement, and slammed into it! Rofl. All my energy and passion to pursue music left my heart, and I was again face-down asking God what the heck was happening! I was left totally confused, dry, and broken. I took a jump off the cliff and realized there was no water in the river. It was painful. But I knew God had called me to it. But why? Was I supposed to stick it out, though I had no desire too? Was this part of the plan? Why did He even call me here? So, in my confusion…I waited.
Just when I was deciding to settle down in Nashville–literally hours before I was going to get a call-back from a job that I knew I would hate—God showed up. He brought me to a place of absolute peace and rest, and then guided me and showed me what this season had been and where He was inviting me to jump next. Once again, he brought me to a place of brokenness, made me wait and depend on Him, and then asked me to take a jump.
Jump? Again?? I just got here! What the heck is going on!?!
And can I be honest…I still don’t fully know. However, I jumped…again…and I feel like I lost part of my sanity with it…
