Picture this: I just spent the past 10 days being totally renewed in my faith. I just said goodbye to over fifty new family members that I already love so deeply. The next time I see them I’ll be headed to India. We spent 10 taxing days living very minimally (think like 5 pairs of shorts and shirts, no comfort foods, zero caffeine, little to no social media, bucket showers, sleeping in tents, and living out of our backpacks). We went everywhere in groups and didn’t spend any time alone unless it was in your tent with headphones in your ears. We were drained due to the lack of food and sleep, but so filled by the joy and peace of the Lord.
Now picture this: I’m currently writing this blog while laying in a real bed in a cute little Airbnb that is located in the middle of Nashville. I have already indulged in several cups of coffee, tacos, real showers, and naps. I spent the day apartment hunting and touring the city with friends. When we stopped off at a Walgreens my friend told me I looked shell shocked. I had to laugh because that’s exactly how I feel. I got used to living in the woods of Georgia with very little, so driving through the city was definitely a change of pace for me.
My friends and family have asked how training camp was, and I’ve actually had a difficult time explaining the experience. It’s easy to tell everyone about the uncomfortable sleeping situations and the weird foods we ate, but that’s not all that training camp was for me. The Father worked in me a ton over the past 10 days, and if I’m honest I’ll say that I’m still processing everything. This blog might be a little jumbled, but know it’s just because that’s how it feels in my head right now. I wanted to go ahead and write anyways since it’s so fresh on my heart.
On August 10th I arrived in Gainesville, Georgia and finally got to meet the fifty-something strangers I will be spending the next year with. I was a little nervous, but mostly excited to see what exactly I had gotten myself into. I expected to spend the next 10 days mostly learning about the logistics of the World Race, when in reality this was just a very small portion of what I got out of it. Training camp was filled with awkward introductions, informative sessions, learning scenarios, small groups, team building activities, vulnerable conversations, smiles, laughter, tears, singing, yelling, dancing, morning workouts, late night worship, and so so so much more.
This is where we slept at training camp, also known as “tent city.”
Before training camp I thought that I had everything pretty together. I had gone through things in my life, but I had dealt with it. I learned very quickly that the next 10 days were going to be pretty rough. You see, I’m someone that likes to give the impression that I have it all together. I thought I had things figured out, when in reality I was holding onto things from the past that I didn’t even know were hindering the closeness I could be having with the Father.
On day 2 of training camp I prayed that God would help me be bold. I said that I was willing to be uncomfortable in order to grow and build my relationship with Him. That night we had a session on forgiveness, and this hit me hard. I realized I was holding onto old wounds from my past that I had never truly forgiven people for. They gave us the opportunity to have our leaders pray over us and heal wounds, but I immediately told myself there was no way I was going to the front of the room for this. Five minutes later I heard the whisper Didn’t you just promise to step into the uncomfortable for Me? You need to do this. I laughed because I knew this was the step I needed to take. I went up front and prayed with my squad mentor, and afterwards I literally felt a weight lifted that I didn’t even know I was carrying. Freedom!
The next few days were even harder. We got to spend time learning about pain and emotions (clearly not my favorite subject). Through this I was able to voice to God and my small group that I still was dealing with pain from over 2 years ago. My head had been swirling with lies of being unworthy, not a good friend, inferior, boring, and replaceable. I prayed for healing in these areas and that God would remove the insecurities I had built up that kept me distant and disconnected from Him. I also prayed that He would fill this new space with truth. The words He gave me were authenticity, vulnerability, truth, self confidence, and grace to others. These are the things I want to grow in right now. Just because I let go of the old insecurities does not mean they don’t still come up. I know that walking in the new truths will be a choice I have to make daily, and it’s going to be a process. That night was the best session of worship all week. I could feel the Holy Spirit filling me and my squad with joy. We laughed, danced, and sang together to our Father. It was the first night that I truly felt like we were the church that would break down so many barriers together. God created a foundation in us that He would continue to build off of for the rest of the week (and the rest of the year). It was a turning point for me at training camp, and it’s a day I won’t soon forget.
Honestly, I could go on and on about the ways God worked in my heart in those Georgia woods, but if I continue this blog will be ridiculously long. I encourage you to reach out to me and ask more details if you want to know. I’ll do my best to express what I can to you, after all I’m trying to work on this whole vulnerability thing.
On August 20th I left Gainesville, Georgia with fifty-something new brothers and sisters that I already love so much. We all made the commitment of saying “YES” to our Father and to each other. We are in this together as children of God serving our Father. When I look at them I see Jesus, and they make me want to look more like Jesus as well. These people are the church. We are not be bound by windows, doors, and walls. Instead, we are an Acts 2 kind of community to each other as we travel from country to country.
4th generation N-Squad
Team Daughters of Peace. These are the women I’ll be living and doing ministry with day in and day out. From left to right: Hillarie, me, Rachel, Allison, Amanda, Lyndie, and Hannah. If you would like to follow all of our journeys we have started a Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/WRDaughtersofPeace/
In case you are curious, my squad is made up of:
-55 world racers: split into 8 teams of about 7 people each
-8 team leaders: one for each team that helps lead that group
-4 squad leaders: previously been on the World Race and will help us on the field for the first 5 months
-1 squad mentor: leads/mentors the squad leaders and team leaders from the states
-2 squad coaches: married couple that mentors and disciples over squad from the states
-1 squad mobilizer: making sure we get everything complete in order to launch in October
-1 squad logistics: working with us on all the logistics needed for budget and travel
Other updates:
I will be heading to Georgia on October 1st for the last bit of training, and we will be on our way to India by the 4th. I am currently $900 away from reaching my second fundraising goal, which is so so amazing! I will be posting a video blog about training camp within the next week as well!
