Senior year has been one of the hardest years of highschool, not necessarily academically, although I have had some difficult classes, but emotionally. Change is not something I accept gracefully. Endings are hard, and nobody wants their life to be anything but comfortable and easy. Before I started my last year at Cascadia I got accepted to the World Race Gap Year, and from that moment my outlook on this year changed drastically. I went from stressing about what major I want to declare in fall 2018 and how my classes should line up with that to thinking about fundraising, picking the perfect sleeping bag, and making this year with my family and friends special.
I’m not sure what happened, I think I blinked or something, because now I am here, turning in my finals for my (potentially) last quarter at Cascadia and wrapping up senior year. Time seemed to go so fast and yet so slow, senioritis has definitely kicked in this last quarter, my motivation to write papers has decreased significantly. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that when I return from the race in a year from now I will not be required to go to school, I will be an adult free to make my own educational choices.
One of the reasons I think this ending/graduation is so weird to me is that I haven’t felt like I’ve been a high school student since 10th grade when I was homeschooled. Since starting Running Start my junior year and going to Cascadia College full-time I have felt like a college student, I didn’t even go to the high school to get my verification forms signed, I went to the alternative school office. Not having an official last day of school (my professors decided when they want to end), and not having a building to walk out of and say “I will never take a class here again!” is making the transition slow and frustrating.
Despite the circumstances around my “graduation,” I am very excited for this next phase in my life where I have no plans, but lots of options. It’s a roller coaster, one day I am excited, the next I am tearing up at the thought of my high school career ending. My whole life is before me, I am only 18! Where will I be in 5 years from now, when I’m 23? My mom likes to tell me that I could be married with kids by then, but that freaks me out, I prefer to look only one year in advance. This next year is just a fraction of my life, and God has big plans for me filled with growth and new experiences.
Recently I listened to a message given by a missionary friend, Katie, at Northshore Community Church. In her message she told the story of how she decided to go on her first mission trip, and Katie said “I would rather obey God and be uncomfortable, than disobey his call on my life.” That statement sums up how I feel about this next year of my life. Although endings are hard, beginnings are uncomfortable but adventurous, and I am so ready to be uncomfortable for the kingdom.
**32 days until I leave for training camp and 96 days until launch! I still have to raise $1,888 to be fully funded, thanks to everyone who has supported me this far!
