As the journey continues, I have suddenly begun to notice the beauty of a moment.
There is always beauty in this world. Sometiimes, we have to search for it in the midst of a gritty, grimy surrounding, but I have begun to notice that it can still be found.
As the time grows ever closer to the first deadline, training camp, launch, I find my emotions in constant flux. And it is 100% of each emotion. I can't seem to decide if I have more excitement for the journey ahead, terror at all the unknown possibilities, joy in all of the ways God will work, sorrow in leaving my family and friends behind, frustration in the times I suddenly see my expectations not being met, happiness for the relationship yet to come, nervousness of meeting my teammates, agressions toward how slowly time passes, terror and surprise at how quickly time passes. It's all there and it's all 100% all the time.
And now for the beauty I've found.
I'm not alone.
As I continue, answering questions without answers, dreaming of the time yet to come, preparing and buying gear, fundraising with desparate prayers constantly on my lips, I am not alone. I have a group that I haven't met who are all experiencing the same things. I have had dreams that leave me with many mixed emotions about what lies ahead, and I'm not alone. I am reminded by God and the community He has planted with me that I can't fundraise on my own, and I'm not the only one, I'm not alone.
Do you want to know who is joining me in all of this insanity? It's the other racers. The people who are simply names in my future. People who haven't met me; who are all going on this with a different call on their heart; who are approaching this journey from different places, physically, spiritually, emotionally; who have varying levels of support from their friends and family; who are fully funded with 4 months till launch or who haven't started; who all have felt a calling from God to step forward into the moment and go. Not one of us has left yet, but we already have the beat within our hearts thumping at the same time.
That is the beauty. Knowing that all of the surging push and pull within me resounds fully in another. Knowing that my story, for a small moment, can resonate with clarity in another part of His creation, and that they resonate in me.
