The past few days have been an absolute whirlwind of emotions, events, and provision. I knew that God was already providing multiple miracles for my family.
He had brought into our lives a man who deeply loves my older sister and is stubborn enough to choose her for the rest of their lives. He brought hundreds of people together who have His love and love for both my sister and my new brother-in-law. He gave my family the blessing financially to be able to bring me home in time for the wedding and send me back to South Africa.
But even more than that God took every last one of my worries and decimated them. Prior to leaving Swaziland, I had been worrying the whole month about so many things. I worried about the massive amount of jet-lag I was going to experience; traveling for two days to be in Houston for three and travel back for two days to catch another bus for over 24 hours.
I was worried about the likely-hood of getting sick after spending two days on a plane filled with recycled air full of 300 peoples germs, sneezes, coughs, and colds.
I was worried about constantly being an emotion wreck, laying in a corner crying and being overwhelmed with the thoughts of my big sister being married.
I was worried about feeling weird being with my family again after forming new friends and family over the past 6 months.
I was worried about the culture shock, of going from constantly serving the poor and impoverished in foreign countries to being served at a wedding in the U.S. a place known for extravagance.
I was worried about getting sick from a sudden change in my diet, going from food in Africa to food in the U.S.
I was worried about far too much that was far beyond my control and impossible to actually do anything about. I had already done all I could by letting people know, praying about it myself, and having people pray over me.
And yet I still worried.
Catching my flights back to the U.S. I sat in the airport worrying about my flight being delayed, being in the wrong airport, having issues going through security, being alone for the first time in months, having a bad seat in the airplane (something that has never happened), smelling bad and feeling dirty in the midst of travel (something that always happens); again, worried about things that I had no control over. I was making up things for myself to worry about.
And God took all of it away. He reminded me that He had already provided and would continue to do so the rest of my life. He has made this the best possible thing it could be.
None of my flights were delayed, everything went as smooth as possible for nearly 40 hours of travel. As I sat in the car with my mother and sister driving away from the airport in Houston, I said, without thinking, that it was weird how natural it felt to be with them. I spent the rest of the day surrounded by family, never feeling more tired than a couple of yawns until I went to sleep long after dark.
I was awake and perky long before our first wedding event of the next day, not even so much as a sniffle as part of the family was fighting intense colds, with absolutely no issues in eating any kind of food.
I was having very limited culture shock, I believe in partial thanks to having three siblings who have all worked or lived in impoverished communities.
I was so well held together that people kept asking how I was feeling and would, well, nearly praise me for doing so well. It got to a point in the middle of my first actual day that I realized based on how many hours of sleep I have had, and everything that I had been worried about, I should be passed out in a corner weeping until I have absolutely nothing left. But I wasn’t.
I have spent the past week living in God’s peace, power, strength, and grace. I really can’t find words to explain how amazing these past few days have been. It has been a complete celebration of two people who love Jesus with their whole hearts. Yes, I have cried, but every tear was worth every bit of a wet-makeup-smeared face. Standing at the front of a crowd next to my sister as she said, “I do,” I was in awe of how much love was in the room. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but I was surrounded by people who love Jesus and were so excited to pour our love on both my sister and her husband.
I realized that I have been basking in His provision. He gave me His strength. He gave me his power. He gave me His grace. And He gave me His peace; His everlasting, ever flowing peace. And I can say that there is no way I would have made it through the past few days without Him and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
