I recently had a friend ask me, “If you could be any character, who would you be?” Now being me, I had to ask “Book or movie? Is it character that you relate to, or character you want to be?” Thankfully, he only answered the book or movie part of the question. What book character would you be? Which do you relate to the most?
Now, I can’t choose what character I would want to be. I can’t possibly imagine choosing a character, flaws and perfection, and choosing it knowing the pain, the loss, the love, the growth, the beginning and the end. I can’t choose to be the story that is already written and I know that full version.
I like a little mystery. I like not knowing what life will look like in 5 years, or even 5 days. I truly enjoy knowing the last sentence of my own story. Having that last sentence memorized because it is so beautiful and hopeful, and having to slowly devour the rest of the story. I like knowing that I’m only in the first couple of chapters and there is soooo much more to come, but it will all end with that glorious last sentence, promising so much joy in that final moment.
Having said that, I have found what character I have found my essence to be the most similar to. I could say Hermione Granger (I’m a bit brainy, but not at the Hermione level), I could list the many characters that I’ve cried with, wetting the pages with my tears because the simple words on the page rend my soul. I could tell you about one of my favorite books. I cry every time I read “The Last Summer (of You and Me)” by Ann Brashares. The journey of three people, but it is Alice I cry the most for. Or maybe I cry for Riley. Maybe the book makes me cry for my older sister and I and the journey we’ve made to become friends and not just the annoyed sisters from our youth (seriously, I was awful to her in middle school).
But I can’t say any of that. I am Sam. Sam Gamgee to be specific. I realized it and said it before I started applying for WR. It was one of the things that originally stopped me from applying to WR. In my own eyes, I am not supposed to be the person on the great adventure. But I care deeply about people on adventures, deeply enough that I would join them for any adventure they took. In my own eyes, I am the unexpected hobbit. The one who doesn’t seem should be there, but I am. I am not the one to carry the ring. I don’t think of myself as a great messenger, or a crucial part of a big plot. But I would willingly pick up a friend to help them accomplish their goal. I would carry my best friend up the side of a mountain (verrrry slowly).
I feel as though Gandalf has just told me to get ready for my journey. Only I don’t know any of the friends coming with me yet. I haven’t met Frodo, Merry or Pippin. I haven’t left the Shire yet, in fact, I’m only just now starting to gather my bags. They aren’t filled. I don’t even have them yet. But I know I’m leaving. I know something is coming. I am leaving on my journey and I don’t yet know the outcome. I only know the last sentence and I don’t know how long I have before I get there. But I know it is coming.
