My emotions while being here in Keyo, Uganda are so mixed. We spend our mornings working with kids in a youth program. In the afternoon we are suppose to have some time to rest and get time away from the kids who are always around us. They are always around us, but they are afraid of us. They don’t let us touch them or talk to them. When we get near, they run away. So, our afternoon are suppose to be a time for us to get refilled and energized since there seems to be a spirit of exhaustion hanging over this country and our team.
While we try to get away from the kids, they try to stay near us. They peek into our windows, bang on the door, make fun of us and throw rocks and sticks on our roof. I want to love them and be so kind and compassionate considering so many of them have been through such horrific experiences. It is so hard though. I see the pain in their eyes and the malnutrition in their protruding bellies and yet I still find it hard to love them when they are banging on the window right next to my tent. When they peer into our windows they are looking at what we have that they can steal.
I want to love these kids and this place, but the frustration that I feel is mounting more each day. I love kids. That is one of the things that I love about the Race; the opportunity to meet so many different kids from so many different countries and to love on them as much as possible. Why then is it so hard to do here? Why do these kids bring such frustration to my heart when all I want to do is love them? Do I just want to love them when I want to love them? Am I being selfish and only giving my love to them in the morning at the designated time for the kids program? Is it okay that me and my team want time away to just rest and get some peace and quiet?
These are just some of the questions circling through my head and in my heart that I don’t know what to do with. Please pray for me and my team.
