Every time we have debrief with the squad at the end of each month, the word “intimacy” pops up. I’m starting to realize that as much as I have been loved and loved others in my short life, I still don’t know love.
I have no idea how God truly feels about me. I know He loves me and delights in me, but I can’t imagine that LOVE He feels for me; love that is constant, self-sacrificing, never failing and pure.
I’m the first person to tell you that I have the BEST family in the whole world. God has blessed me so graciously with my family. I love them more than I can express and they have loved me with everything they have, but it’s still not enough. We can never love each other enough or perfectly.
When I think about the love God has for me I can’t imagine anything beyond the human love I give and receive. So, when we start talking about intimacy with God it gives me so uncomfortable, because that is so unknown to me. I don’t know that kind of love. I have no idea how to give or receive it.
I’m learning though, that one of the beautiful things about God is that He is patient. Even while I am floundering trying to figure out how to love people and be intimate with Him, He is waiting for me. And while He is waiting, He is loving me with His perfect, pure love.
“If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps non record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:1-4
