I don’t know why it still amazes me that listening to certain songs can spark such strong memories.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Hanson lately. They were my favorite musical group growing up so as my iPod shuffled through their songs it only makes sense that I would relive moments of my childhood.
Singing Mmbop on the swing set in elementary school. Practicing choreography with my cousin Hannah in an upstairs room of our grandparents old farmhouse. And attending a couple of Hanson concerts with my aunt and cousins.
As I watch the slideshow of memories drift through my lazy daydreams I can’t help but miss my family. All of them.
I miss the crazy antics that ALWAYS go on when we’re all together. Which happens to be pretty much all the time.
I miss the noise, cookouts, birthday parties, laughing till we cry, the stories, random dance parties in the street, and feeding my dad guacamole but telling him its ice cream first (best joke ever!).
It’s hard to explain, but while I’ve been gone I’ve had this picture of my home being behind me and this year I’ve been out facing the world. That’s where my attention and focus has been.
But today I pictured myself turning around and saw all of them gathered together watching me. I know they’re still living life at home and days continue on as usual, but in my vision they were there waiting with anticipation and so full of love. And then I saw two giant arms wrapping around all of them in the most tender yet confident of embraces. My heart felt like it was going to explode with love for them. But at the same time it hurt because I’m so far away and have been gone for nearly 4 months now.
I don’t tell them often enough how much I love them and miss them.
But I know the arms I saw wrapping around them were the strong but gentle arms of the Father who loves each of them so much more than I ever could.
And that brings me so much comfort. I know Jesus is working at home just as much as He is here in Nepal. And I’m trusting in His love for them and for me.
So to my sweet, wonderful, crazy, perfectly chaotic, and loving family: I love you all so so much. And I can physically feel the weight of your love and support from half a world away. Words cannot express the depth of my gratitude for all you’ve done and are still doing for me.
I hope you all know how dearly I love each of you and I can only pray you know and feel the depth and reality of Jesus’ love for each of you as well.
