I don’t have a clever blog title for this, I wasn’t even sure I’d write a final blog. I’ve been home for over a month and never felt motivated or sure of what even to write. I finally wrote down some words about these past 11 months of traveling the world as a missionary with the World Race. If you ever have any questions don’t hesitate to reach out!
I was Team Leader for 8 months of the World Race. I started the trip as a team leader and then after Month 4 was asked to step down. What!? Me!? I had just finished telling someone that I really enjoyed team leading, the responsibilities that came with it, the intentional conversations that had to happen and communicational skills that needed sharpening. And then the title was taken from me. So now what. I soon realized that if I believed all these things were true of myself then I would still walk them out even when I no longer had the title as “team leader.” ouch. That was a hard reality to swallow.
The months that followed I realized I really was that person. I could still do those things with out a lot of the additional responsibilities. How freeing. And then Month 8 I was asked to team lead again. After the growth I experienced the previous 3 months I accepted without any fear of failing or being someone or something I wasn’t.
I look back now on those months and feel bad for my first team I led and my poor communication skills. I once told my teammate she was being “hostile.” haha oops, that didn’t go over so well. You live and learn though. A lot of my spiritual growth this past year as a missionary came through living and learning. Walking out my faith boldly, without the fear of failure holding me back, yet relying on the Lords strength, never my own. Because, lets be honest, my flesh is weak and my thoughts not always pure. I talk myself out of things and put my own made up obstacles in my way of doing something. But Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” The Lord is faithful when we say yes to Him. He breaks down our obstacles with little effort.
He is also a really great teacher and I wrote down a few things that I learned this past year as a result:
Always ask questions. I was always afraid of asking for clarity on things that I felt like I should already know, especially if it’s Christian related. Now I see how questions can open up good, deep discussion and can gain wisdom and deeper insight. Ask questions from elders with more wisdom, knowledge, life experience and spiritual depth. Ask questions to know people more, to show an interest. Ask questions to learn. The best question I discovered while traveling was to ask elders what is an important value they have learned that would help others live a better life. It’s okay to ask questions. We’re not meant to know everything. Ask questions to the Lord and he’ll always have a response. Ask questions about Christianity and know where your beliefs are rooted.
An ending is always a beginning. Month after month we ended a ministry only to begin another one. When one door closes God opens another one. Countless missionaries we met told stories of doors the Lord closed, an end, until a new door and new beginning took place. Our lives all come to an end only to open up into a bright beginning.
Slow down. Our American culture is so fast paced. I always heard this but never realized it until I went abroad. I quickly learned this in Costa Rica when we were told a time for lunch only to find out that’s when lunch was going to start being cooked, not eaten. Again in Africa when the term “African time” is a real thing. Slowing down to appreciate what’s going on around you, whose around you and practice being present where you are.
None of us are different, we all struggle with similar hardships and temptations. From the prostitute in Rwanda who has low self-worth, to the Pastor in Nicaragua with a sprained neck, to the men in Ethiopia trying to find a job or the church member in Bolivia struggling with pride. Our environments may look different but we all have the same flesh. After sharing our testimonies multiple times people were always shocked to find out they could relate to us more than they realized.
Community is everything. Defined as: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. When I fell short, when I didn’t want to go to ministry, when I didn’t want to pray or preach for someone or sing or dance with kids, my team was there for me. Telling me to suck it up, or listening to me externally process. Community doesn’t judge but sharpens, edifies and points you back to Christ.
As the end to my World Race drew closer I faced my new beginning. And the same reality I faced when I wasn’t a “team leader” anymore. What I was walking out on the World Race was I willing to walk out now at home? Now that I don’t introduce myself as a “missionary” (though I believe we are ALL missionaries and every day is ministry if we choose to have that perspective, but anyways) will I still act as one to the degree I lived out these past 11 months?
I think Jesus makes it pretty clear when he says in Mark 8:34-38,
“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for? If any of you are embarrassed over me and the way I’m leading you when you get around your fickle and unfocused friends, know that you’ll be an even greater embarrassment to the Son of Man when he arrives in all the splendor of God, his Father, with an army of the holy angels.”
Whew, thank you Jesus, I’ll gratefully entrust everything to you. This world is tough and you have to fight for Christ everyday. You’ve heard it before, we’re blessed to live in America, but we’re also at a disadvantage. The fact that we have much can make us ungrateful, only left wanting more, never satisfied, consistently unhappy from comparing ourselves with others. It’s hard to live as a Christian in a society with this mentality making my transition from Africa a little more difficult haha. But whether you’re a missionary in Africa, a teacher in New England, a Pastor in South America, or an unemployed 25 year old living with her parents, we are all connected, no better than one another, fighting for the same cause. To make His name known far and wide. To love others with the love of Christ. To bring glory to God. We all have to be our true selves. Be who Christ made you to be. Pursue and follow, trust and submit. He’s a friend, a Father, a comforter, a Savior.
Merry Christmas and a happy end to 2016 to begin a new in 2017.
