I’ve been living in Gainesville, Georgia for the past two months.
I’ve grown up going to Lake Lanier in the summers staying at my family and friends homes on the lake. Now I’m living here and experiencing the reality of Gainesville – it’s more southern than I thought, there are tons of BBQ joints and biscuit barnes, and everyone drives slow.
When I first moved here and began the CGA program, I was in a hard place. As the summer was turning into fall and everything around me was dying, things in my heart were dying too.
I came into the program critical and opinionated. I was rude and prideful, hurtful and outspoken, broken. I was sad, I was unsatisfied where God has me, I wanted to be somewhere else. But somehow, by God’s grace, I kept going. I held on to the promise that God had given me: I have something for you in this season.
My girl Georgia and I enjoying the end of summer on the lake!
That’s what I clung to because that’s all I could. I trusted my Jesus to bring me into the hard season, walk with me in that season, and to bring me out of it.
My heart was hurting. I was unlearning, relearning, and being humbled all over the place. I thought I had learned so much on the Race, worked on all my issues and changed, but reality hit and that wasn’t exactly the case.
I didn’t understand why I was hurting, why I was unsatisfied, why I wasn’t around and living with who I would have chosen, why I had to go on a camping trip for a week, why I had to be an apprentice again, why I was living off of support, or why I wasn’t dating anyone or close to being married.
But here’s the thing though, I was walking through hurt and pain, but I knew and had such a peace that God was doing it for a purpose on purpose, and was going to come through on his promise. I just didn’t know when.
Enjoying a hike in North Georgia
I’ve been reflecting on this these past few days. And now I’m writing this blog to say boldly and joyfully: I’m out of that hard season and reaping the blessing Jesus promised me!
I have the community and friends I’ve been asking for. My roommates and I are learning and growing from one another. I’m learning and developing at work. I’ve learned to let go of the control I felt when I need to make everything the best it should be.
As fall turns into winter and winter to spring, so do seasons in our lives. Eventually the things dying inside become alive again, and they are new and good.
I was sitting at lunch with some brave women who were on the race with me, Ally and Shelley. They remember the transition in my life when God was calling me back to Adventures in Vietnam. They remember my summer of guessing and surrendering to God’s upcoming season. They remember my wounded heart when I started CGA.
And today they heard God’s redemptive story and plan.
As we surrender our lives and plans and obey Jesus, he blesses us.
Thank you Lord for brining me into intimacy with you, for pursuing me, for being the creator of the universe and knowing my precious heart.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller
