I have given into the Indian culture. I gave up toilet paper and am now using my left hand to wipe. Don’t worry, I immediately wash my hand with soap afterwards.
Also, I took my first bucket shower. There isn’t much water here, so one bucket is one shower. It’s so hot here; I can’t tell if I have completely dried myself from the shower water because either way, I am soaking.
It is so humid, I never stop sweating. There is no air conditioning. The power is off 9-11am and 4-6pm, so during those times the fans inside buildings aren’t running. Sometimes the power will run out and fans will stop.
Our guy squad leader, Joel, encouraged us to find time alone with the Lord. He explained that we need to be equipped. We can’t take this opportunity lightly. The way we become equipped is spending time with him, pursuing a relationship.
You are never really alone on the race. There are always people surrounding me. And when this happens, even at home, it is so hard for me to pull away and be alone with God; to stop talking and listening to read and journal.
I felt so unworthy, so unprepared. I hadn’t been spending time with Him, I hadn’t been praying, I hadn’t been listening. We had been traveling so much, I was off my routine (was my excuse).
We had team time soon after that to pray for our next month. I prayed last and when I did, I realized all the feelings I had were lies I was believing.
I was believing I wasn’t good enough just because I wasn’t reading my Bible. I was believing that I wasn’t going to be used because I hadn’t been memorizing verses. I was believing God didn’t love me because I hadn’t been journaling.
So, when I prayed, I could only be vulnerable. I rebuked the lies. I broke off the chains, the bondage. I didn’t want to feed into the enemy any longer. Then I asked God what he thinks about me, us.
And I heard truth. He loves me. He is proud of me. He is fighting for me. There is no flaw in me (Song of Solomon). Though I am faithless, he is faithful (2 Timothy). He is going to use me. He is going to speak through me.
And I spent time with him, and I received his peace.
