I have been doing many different types of ministries here in Romania. Anything from weed-eating a lawn to teaching English to late night street evangelism. Ministry is everywhere and it has been awesome. There is something that can be learned and taken away from each day in ministry; whether that be the fact that children enjoy singing "Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes" to the realization that manual labor is needed and can be done on a daily basis to the understanding that people are always ready to listen, even if they aren't exactly willing to. Today I had the opportunity to experience my favorite ministry thus far. I had the opportunity to visit widows.
I know a few widows back in the states. I have heard stories of widows around the world. I now know widows here in Romania.
When one sees the word 'widow' written across the page; default usually goes towards the words of sorrow, darkness, loneliness, and pain. However, in and through the conversations I was able to have with 6 different widows; I was able to experience anything but that. I got to meet a woman with a prosthetic leg in need for a new one who welcomed me into her one bedroom house and showed me pictures of herself as a teenager. I got to meet a woman in her late 40s, eyes sparkling as she told me about her 16 year old daughter and 10 year old boy whom we invited to the Puppet Show. I got to meet a woman who was taking care of her 48 year old special needs son. I got to meet a woman who left her job and moved across the country, in order to care for her 3 handicapped siblings after her widowed mother passed away. I got to meet a woman who cares for her 81 year old mother, 24 hours a day in order for her to have a means to survive since nursing homes are nonexistent here in Romania.
My prior perspective of what a widow entails was completely different than what I witnessed.
I saw strength.
I saw humility.
I saw hope.
I saw selflessness.
I saw positivity.
I saw appreciation.
I saw joy.
And most importantly, I saw love.
It is hard to sit here, writing… wanting to show the people who take the time to read this that these women represent true light, beauty, and grace. It is hard to understand where these women get their strength from. It is hard to understand how they continue on after losing so much. It is hard to understand how they can't be bitter because of the situations they were left with. I guess that is God's good grace. It's just that. What else could it be? The crazy thing is that these women are not believers but within this, I know that God graces even those who choose not to believe in him and he truly sincerely cares for them as well.
The story that impacted me the most was the last house we visited. Big warm smiles welcomed the local missionary, my team member, and myself as hands waived for us to enter the estate. Chickens clucked in the background as a cat laid carelessly on the steps flicking it's tail back and forth. The water well was shadowed by the hand planted trees that stood near by. It seemed as if there were no problems here.
As we entered the freshly cleaned room, the three sisters told us of their prior lives and how they came to where they are now. The woman who owned the estate told us how grateful she was that her sisters were there for a short visit to help her care for the house, the livestock, the garden, and their mother.
Paula is the name of the woman who cares for her 81 year old handicapped mother 24 hours a day. Dark sun-kissed skin paints her body from years of working outside as creases and wrinkles cover her face due to the hard life she has endured. Her own husband died years ago and she was left to care for everything they owned as well as for her mother who was in desperate need. As she tells us her story, a smile stretches from ear to ear between her parched lips and a glimpse of hope shines through her eyes.
Years ago she suffered the loss of her husband and soon after her mother suffered a mini-stroke that paralyzed her from the waist down resulting in Paula having to provide room and board along with 24 hour assistance. In the USA rehabilitation is available and if needed, assisted living is as well. This is nonexistent here in Romania and even if it was, Paula would have no personal funds to provide for her mother this kind of care. After her mother had the mini-stroke, she was confined to a wheelchair but 4 years ago she suffered another stroke and loss the ability to even feed herself. Paula's mother is completely coherent, can still speak, but has no control of her body. Her mother has to be hand fed for every meal and repositioned almost every hour. She is constantly moaning in pain and during the night, it is rare that either woman has any consistency in sleeping. Paula sacrifices her time, her sleep, and in actuality, her life in order to care for her mother. She has a positive attitude as she shares memories of how amazing of a mother her own mother was. She tells us how her mother always gave to others before thinking of herself. If she had a loaf of bread and saw someone who needed it more, she would give up her own. She tells us of how her mother raised 5 children after raising her own 5 other siblings after the death of her parents. She tells us how her mother was a great woman and she asks us if we would like to see her mother.
We walk to another part of the house and enter a small room where her mother is lying on the bed. Weighing nothing more than 50 pounds, Paula's mother lies helplessly underneath some clean cotton sheets. One can see the outline of the place where her body rests. The remnants of how age and illness has deteriorated her body is all that is left behind. There is not much left of this woman; at least not in a physical sense. As I look at her and see how weak she is, how her body must have been through every twist and turn that life has had to offer; my eyes begin to look around the room filled with the women whom she has raised, specifically the woman who is her caregiver and has sacrificed so much in doing so. What a testament to what a great woman she was and is. What an example she is for those of us who should be willing to watch. What a blessing for me to stand there in silence and witness what can happen if we raise our children in love, if we lead by example, and if we are willing to sacrifice it all. If you put God into this equation, it really doesn't get much better than that. I stood there completely humbled that I got to meet such great women and blessed to know that God allowed me to be in that room at that moment with the 4 of them. As I was standing there listening to the stories, Paula told us of her struggle and while she was expressing how difficult it was to do what she was doing, she looked at us and softly said "You only have one mama." Those words struck a chord in me. Those words, in that moment, in that room, meant more than they could or would have anywhere else. It only took 5 simple words for the tears to well up in the eyes that rarely shed such things. It only took one sentence for me to acknowledge how true this statement is. It only took 2 seconds for me to realize how much I appreciate my own mother and how one day, I hope to be the very testament of what a great woman she is.
My mother is an amazing woman. I can honestly say that words can't express how grateful I am that God hand-picked her for me. There have been times when I have let her down, there are times when I walked away from her, and there were times when our relationship was anything but pretty; but in and through the situations, events, and days that make my past; I have learned how fortunate I am to know that God gave me someone that could comfort me when I needed it the most, someone who would believe in me when no-one else would, someone who would understand and appreciate who I am, someone who could laugh at my jokes, and someone who shares the same appreciation I have in sloths.
I would like to challenge anyone who reads this to know that, if you do have a mother, a mother figure, a friend who is a mother, or simply a woman in your life who stepped in when someone else stepped out; know that perhaps you should take a moment and thank them for being or doing just that. It isn't always easy being a mother. It's not always a walk in the park and sometimes, it is easy to take what we have for granted.
"You only have one mama."
I love you sloth.
I love you Michele Alaina Scott.
I love you mama.
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