Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

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Can I be shamelessly honest?
 

I struggle with puh-puh-pride…I STRUGGLE WITH PRIDE! There I said it. (Yeah, I know, I just brought out the condemning p-word.) I find myself more often than not looking down on others, judging without knowing, comparing faults, feeling entitled to respect. It's not that my intentions are to feel or think this way. It just seems to come naturally.
 
Am I alone in this???
 
The fight to put on the humble face. The battle to suppress those feelings. Realizing that you've just justified why you're better than a peer in your mind. Feeling ashamed for even thinking these thoughts. 

 

I am guilty. I AM MORE THAN GUILTY!
 
I have learned that pride is more than just what we protray outwardly. It is a condition of our hearts. And it can really eat away at the love we should be practicing instead.

It hurts to diagnose ourselves as "Prideful." Let's just go ahead and point the finger right a me. Go ahead and point a few fingers. It hurts and it's shameful to realize that I struggle with pride. If you don't notice already, it's a struggle for me to articulate and just go ahead and admit to it.
 

Who am I???
 
No…who am I really? I am a sinner. I am weak. I am undeserving of any ounce of grace that God gives me. I am in no position to place myself on a pedestal. I am no better than the worst criminal sitting on a dirty prison floor. I am no better than the woman selling her body for money on the street corner or in the red light district. I am no better than the cranky old cat lady living across the street. I am no better than the McDonald's employee. I am no better than Hitler himself.

My sense of entitlement and sense of superiority is all false. Just lies circulating in my head. I feel as if someone has stuck a dagger in my heart when I realize how prideful I have been. I wish I could go back and erase all my thoughts, all my actions, all my words. Anything that has placed me falsely above anyone else. But I can't….I can only ask for forgiveness.

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." – Proverbs 16:18

To break the cycle of pride? Not easy. I am nowhere close at this point. God knows this is still a stronghold on my life that needs to be broken. The inconveniences that I face should not lead me to feeling like I've been robbed of what I deserve. They should prepare me to abandon all that I am and let Jesus live through me!

If I am going to be effectively and intentionally loving and helping others on the World Race, I need to take a chainsaw to the pride that is eating away at me. Pray for me to view others as higher than I. That I may view them through the eyes of Christ. Pride isn't the only fault in me, but at this point we will take it one step at a time. My desire is that God would use me to my full potential on this trip, and my pride has got to go!
 

Letting go of my pride
Giving up all my rights
Take this life and let it shine
Take this life and let it shine

I lay me down
I'm not my own
I belong to you alone
Lay me down
Lay me down

Hand on my heart this much is true
There's no life apart from you
Lay me down
Lay me down
~ Chris Tomlin


***Small Update***
I still have $1199 to raise before my first deadline, which is only 8 DAYS AWAY! Seriously consider being one of my one time or monthly supporters. ANY and I mean ANY amount is a blessing. Thank you!