I’m not superhuman. I’m not capable of making it through a day without sinning. I’m not always joyful. I don’t always enjoy serving others. Actually, most of the time I despise it.
Yet…I still call myself a missionary.
I have often felt the weight of that title to be too much to bear. I would rather live a normal, ordinary life. This way no one would be watching my every move. I wouldn’t feel the unnecessary expectation to be perfect. The constant failure to meet people’s expectations makes me consider faking it most days.
I don’t want to fail people. I don’t want to slip up. Maybe that’s the prideful side of me.
But, I AM A MISSIONARY.
What does that mean exactly? Some would say, ‘Walking in the footsteps of Jesus.’ Some would say, ‘Reaching out to the lost and winning souls.’ Some would say, ‘a lifestyle of ministry.’
I would say I am a missionary wherever I set foot. Whether in an established ministry or living everyday life. The people I live life with are my mission field. I don’t have to bible slam them day after day to win their souls. Christ in me is proof in the way that I speak and act.
I have thought a lot about going home lately and what that will look like. Will I be the person people think I am? Will I fail to meet their expectations? Will I be spiritual enough? Have I made up imaginary expectations of what people will have?
I’m just a normal person. My missionary title does not make me more spiritual or even better at ministry than anyone else. I need Jesus just as much as the next person.
The thing is that we are all living, walking, and sometimes crawling through this life together. Jesus never set anyone on a pedestal. Paul boasted time after time in his weaknesses because it proved the strength of Christ.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
I want you to understand that we all deep down are just crummy people. We don’t have anything unique or even great to offer on our own. I am going to fail you. That is a fact. We are all mistake making messes.
Jesus offers the grace we need. And we need to offer grace to those around us. We love only because Christ loved us first.
So yes, I am a missionary. And so are you. We are in this together.
