Jesus. Jesus is enough. He alone is good, loving, worthy. Life with Jesus has taken me on incredible journeys to beautiful places and introduced me to amazing people. Yet still, in the quiet stillness of the night, these places, people, and experiences fade away and it is Jesus. Jesus is my great reward. Jesus is my great rest, comfort, confidence, and identity. If I had nothing else, Jesus is enough. Not for His gifts, not for His miracles- for who He is. I believe and know that He is a generous Savior who gifts us beauty each day. I believe and know that He is a healing Savior who performs wonders each day, also. Yet, it is not these things that keep my going and gain my devotion. These things do not satisfy me the way Jesus Himself does. His good and loving character is enough for me. On the days when I am tired and have no clue what I am doing here, Jesus Himself is enough to comfort me from within. On the days when I am overwhelmed with excitement for where He has me, when I see prayers answered, when people are hearing the gospel, even still it is the Truth of who Jesus is that is enough comfort for me. I am beyond thankful for all I’ve seen Him do around me and for me, yet I long for all the glory to go to the Giver rather than the gifts themself. His character is good and never changing. He is the one thing I can count on to never fail me. His character has quite literally been my only constant for the past year+ and it is still enough for me. Some days are hard, as is true for everyone. Some days I struggle to know my purpose. Some days I feel like a brat and want nothing more than my own bedroom, warm shower, and sparkling water from Target. Yet, even in those moments, I can say without a doubt in my mind that Jesus is enough for me, so if He has called me here there is beauty and purpose to be found. Slowly, but surely, once my eyes are focused on Him, I see it. I see the beauty in laughing with a stranger on the street as we wait for Google Translate to load. The beauty in a movie night with this group of girls that mean more to me than they know. The beauty in having a new friend show me around her hometown with incredible hospitality. I see the beauty in a game of Uno with hostel roommates from all over the world as we share of our lives with each other. All these pointing to a good and faithful Savior who cares.
God is teaching me new depths of surrender. He has been teaching me to surrender this idea of the life I have in mind for myself. Surrendering the expectation of how I see my life unfolding. Of course, I would love to have a stable job, be surrounded by friends and family and maybe even some consistency at some point haha. But what if these expectations are far off? Even if these things never fall into place for me, is He enough? Is He still worthy of my every breath? Is this crazy lifestyle still worth it? The answer is and will always be yes. It is a daily battle of laying myself and my desires down, but He is always- without fail- exceedingly more than worthy of it all. I mean, it is JESUS! My Savior, the love of my life, my friend, the One who came down to love me and free me once and for all. It just doesn’t get any better than that. Wherever He is, there is my joy and my purpose. So I will go wherever He leads me.
So here I am, doing my best to walk in daily surrender of my worldly desires. Fixing my eyes on the Gift, Jesus. Jesus + nothing will always be more than I could ever imagine- WORTHY of it all.
