I never doubted that God wanted me to do the Race, but I do get scared of what it means to run the Race. Even though I’m a missionary kid, I’m comfortable with my life. I have amazing friends, a loving family, a beautiful house, a school, a huge bed, food I like every night. I have a lot going for me here in Thailand. Some people tell me, “the race will be so easy for you, you’re basically already living it.” But, I’m not, really. The Race is about being pushed out of your comfort zone every day to pursue Christ and love the lost and hurting. That is not my life now. My life is getting up at 7:10am even though my alarm clock rang at 6:36am. Running out the door without breakfast and driving to school in the freezing morning air, before it gets scorching hot. My life is getting to school and complaining to my friends about how tired I am and how that test was so hard. My life is getting home and watching Facebook videos until I figure I better start my homework, but it’s already 9:00pm. My life is not running the race with endurance like I’m called to in Hebrews 12, but that’s the crazy part of it all. I never doubted that God called me to be apart of what he’s doing next year, even though it is going to be so different than the life I’m living now. Although my day to day life seems mundane, I believe God has been showing me through different experiences that the World Race is what he wants me to pursue.
A year ago I was vacationing in Cambodia and as part of the trip, my parents signed us up to go to the fishing villages. It was a very humbling experience for me and it was the highlight of my trip. The villages were filthy, there were no paved roads, only mud. Usually, during the rainy seasons, the houses would be sitting on top of the water but when we went, we saw all the wooden houses were held up by pillars. They had a school that usually brings kids there by boat. It was small and only had one whiteboard and a couple of benches. There were holes in the ceiling and you might think that the whole house would fall apart if you jumped. My heart went out to these people who had so little, yet were grateful for the little things like a school they could attend.
Earlier this year, I went to the Philippines and we went to what they call a squatter’s village. This place had just been destroyed in a fire, so my team and I went to give food to these people who had lost everything. I had the privilege to talk with a man who had a young daughter and in his broken English, he told me his life story. The fire had taken his home, livelihood, money, food. His wife had died and his oldest daughter, who is my age, could not attend school anymore because she had to work. He had nothing. I saw that people were showering at a water truck because they had no showers or way to wash. There was construction everywhere because they had to rebuild before they were kicked out of the land. I saw this village of people who were desperate, yet so joyful. The kids hung on to us and wanted us to play with them forever. The adults wanted to talk and have someone listen. I never felt so sure, as I did as we were leaving, that God wanted me to be a missionary and love people like these.
Very recently, I went to a hospital with my vocal ensemble group and we got to sing for people who were dying, all in wheelchairs, who were wheeled into the room and couldn’t really do anything. As we finished our first song no one clapped and it was the weirdest feeling, but I realized that they physically couldn’t clap for us and it revealed to me how much I expect appreciation for the good things I do. As we continued to sing though, I did get a reward much greater than clapping. There was an older lady who was following our conductor as she tried to mimic him and waved her arms around. Another man began crying as we sang about persevering through life and singing to life itself. It was so powerful to have an opportunity to impact these people in a small way.
There have been many more experiences like these in my life, but the point is God will move with or without you, but in His gracious love He wants you to be a part of it all, and He wants to use you. I’m still learning what it means for God to be a part of my everyday life, but so is everyone else. I’m so thankful that next year I get to be pushed out of the box of comfort, no matter how scary it may be, God will use it all. I have no doubt about that.
