17 days. 17 days! 17 days until I meet you all! 17 days until this becomes real! 17 days and it all begins. The laughter, crying, the adventures, and ministry; the heartbreaking truth, and the amazing miracles. I am beyond excited but also terrified, and I think at some point we have all felt that way. Whether doubting that this was God’s plan, or scared you wouldn’t be able to raise $16,600, or afraid that your squad won’t like you because you’re too different.
Yeah that last one gets me.
To be honest guys… I never doubted that this is what God wanted me to do, I didn’t struggle that much with raising money, but I was wrecked on the inside because I was so afraid that you guys wouldn’t love me or that I wouldn’t be able to connect with any of you. All of you are from America, and I am too but not really. The truth is I am different. I have created my own third culture from all the places I’ve lived and no one else could truly understand, except maybe my parents and siblings. When Reagan made that map of where we were all from, it was so cool and I loved that you made me a little Thailand, but it also showed me the reality that I’m all alone in a sense. Here’s the thing I realized though is that although I’m different, and although I might struggle differently, and love differently, I have the exact same heart as all of you. Jesus called me on the World Race to serve, to love, and to be his hands and feet. Like Ellen said in one of her blogs, to give people the hope that we have in Jesus Christ. If that isn’t enough to create amazing friendships, I don’t know what is.
Something else you should know is that as a missionary kid (MK), the MK culture is constantly changing. Friends come and go and you can never quite expect when it will change. It hurts to put your trust in someone and love them to find out they are moving and leaving you. Having these experiences have really made me be cautious of who I let see the real me. I did live in America for my freshman year in high school. I didn’t really make any long lasting friendships there. They were all friendships that were okay being on the shallow end, and part of the reason is because I knew in a year I was going to move back overseas and I didn’t want to get hurt again. Everyone says that you all are going to be my family, my best friends, and that scares me because I know I’ll have to say goodbye. I know that pain all too well. I’m so excited to meet you all but I am aware of the reality that we are also going to have to say goodbye.
Speaking of goodbyes… recently I graduated from Grace International School in Chiang Mai, Thailand! Yay!!! Well that feeling only lasted one night as the next day it began the long journey of airport runs as friends fly off and goodbye letters, tears and many hugs. Prayers and last glimpses of all of my friends. I think during that time God was showing me how good and faithful He is. I was overwhelmed by the thought that God had brought all these friends together during my three years of high school here intentionally because He knew we needed each other. It was His plan all along and now He has called us all across the world to impact and love others who need us. That leaves me with you guys. My point is God purposefully called us all to Route 5. Little did we know that not only was it about the countries or the mission but for each other. When it gets hard to communicate, or share space, when someone does something that seems so crazy or even dumb . . . remember God called us together to love one another. (Matthew 22:39)
Drew, Ellen, Emma, Courtlan, Caroline, Bella, Blaize, Julia H, Morgan C, Shelby, Maggie, Karson, Colby, Grace, Johanna, Harleigh, Arielle, Julia W, Hannah D, Sarah, Emily, Sam, Anna S, Mason S, Anna W, Smads, Reagan, Skylar, Christine, Jack, Alex, Ariel F, Hannah G, Cassidy, Luke, Shaedyn, Shelby, William, Braeden, and Morgan M
Here is my prayer for you,
I pray that you will never be ashamed of the Gospel. I pray that when someone calls you out, you will boldly proclaim that Jesus Christ is your God (1 Peter 4:16). I pray that you will have boldness in evangelism and truly live out Matthew 28:19-20.
I pray that you understand that you aren’t worthy enough to do God’s work in and of yourself but only by His strength (Philippians 4:13) can we complete the work He has called you to do. I pray that you realize that God wants to not only use you but also wants to work in you.
Lastly, I pray for freedom in whatever way the Lord reveals it to you.
See you in 17 days!
Ashlyn S.
